Quality versus Quantity: Final Chapter

As I transitioned meeting pot SD's from real life events to searching in the online world using the amazing technology that we are blessed with, I have learned that it is so much harder in the online format.  We do not initially have the opportunity to look in a pot's eyes or observe body language that is often a key way to discovering a person's truthfulness. We are often faced with quantity in contacts that lack quality and oh it is so frustrating. I purposely listed a link to definitions for quality as there is one thing that sticks out in the definition:

1. any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
2. basic nature; character; kind
3. the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
4. excellence; superiorityThe first four all refer to something that is superior.. a cut above the rest and basic nature or character!  That's right quality is that element that sets apart those designer shoes from the Pay-less Shoes or that Dior , Channel or Versace outfit from those so called designer labels at discount stores.  We ladies know our clothes.. know that the quality of the fabric makes them last longer, the way it is sewn strengthens those seams and the cut of the cloth often gives us that extra fabulous look. It is that degree of excellence that something or someone possesses!  When we put on the true designer clothes, we know we look our best, they are designed to fit us in a way that shows off our bodies and accentuates our best features to perfection.  We gain confidence when we are dressed in clothing that makes a statement.A potential sugar can talk and paint a lovely picture, anyone can talk but this does not mean that their words even have an element of truth in them.  On the flip side anyone if they can afford it can put on the designer garments but at the end of the day this does not make their basic nature one that is of excellence as the garments can not make up for lack of character!  Quality is the complete package!  The definition also refers to a social standing.. and yes there is where a real SD can afford an arrangement, however, that still does not mean he retains the quality of character and where we need to really examine what qualities a potential has that would make him or her desirable in an arrangement.  This also means a critical hard look at ourselves and our own character and what sets us aside from the rest and use those characteristic elements to our advantage.  If it is a more traditional sugar arrangement that one wants then we need to examine what is important to us when it comes to quality character traits.  A successful arrangement for me in the past has involved opening myself up to a SD, being honest and at times vulnerable and trust that he appreciated me enough to do the same.  For awhile I had a few bad experiences in my search as I forgot what is important to me.. and yes having financial help is important but what was more important was that the person I chose to develop a SD/SB relationship with me be someone I can trust and learn from.  Chemistry is important but what good is chemistry if there are so many character deficits that create drama.  On the flip side I know that many Sugar Daddies feel the same way and often find after a short period of time the SB is not who she presented her self to be.  It is a two way street and really an arrangement is all about appreciation!  He appreciates me, who I am, what I do for him so he wants to help me and visa versa.. I appreciate my SD so I do things to show him how much I appreciate him.. both in and out of the bedroom.  We often get caught up in perceived drama as we initially forget to cover things when we make an arrangement that covers how much contact.  Some SD's want occasional contact in between meets and others want a lot ..phone call, text or email.. they want to feel a connection to their sugar.  As an SB I learned to put those little details on the table in advance to make sure we are on the same page with how often meeting, how much contact, how much discretion is necessary.. if this is solely a behind closed doors arrangement or one that requires traveling, doing social things.  Most important is sharing a piece of ourselves.. showing our character and having respect for our SD.. not belittling him because he is older.  After all we are the ones looking.. for a sugar relationship not for an ever after scenario. 

Quality versus Quanity Part3: The List

My Quality list while not a short one has become a measuring stick for me when I meet a potential daddy, I have learned that the more traits they have on my list the more interested and attracted I am going to be.  Now you might think that money will be on the top of my list and although it does make my list it does not top it.  Why?  Many people have wealth or at least have the means to afford a sugar babe, however, money does not mean a man who has desirable traits except green backs.  I put the mutual back into the meaning of mutually beneficial arrangement for my sugar experiences.  In doing this I took back my sugar power as I got caught in a rut of giving my power away thinking I was obligated to respect and treat the person with dignity that I was in an arrangement with even if it was detrimental for me.  After my experience with Mr. Bobble-head I viewed it as a wake up call.. except for his drinking he was actually very pleasant, kind, and generous.  All desirable traits except for the alcohol consumption.  One night I sat with pencil and paper in hand and looked at what I thought Quality was for starters.My definition as  applies to a SD: a characteristic trait that defines the apparent individual nature of a potential sugar.  I searched online and found the best definition on your dictionary which states:(retrieved at http://www.yourdictionary.com/Quality )

1. any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
2. basic nature; character; kind
3. the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
4. excellence; superiority
5. Now Rare position, capacity, or role
6. 1. Now Rare high social position
   • Now Chiefly Dial. people of high social position  Approaching my sugar search as I do my studies in school I look for excellence : my grades in school are important to me.. so why not apply this to my search in a SD?  Hence, my list was born with me sitting on the bed in only a little teddy with no underwear and slathered up in lotion.. which was so appropriate for my mood that night. My list:
   1. Honesty: both vocally and through media means.. for example the picture you send to me via email is actually you and current not from 25 years ago..
   2. Well Mannered!
   3. Financial Honesty:  again a category separate from basic honesty... because it is not important that I know exactly how much you make so state less if you are uncomfortable with a SB knowing but never over exaggerate as this is pure fake and I use income guidelines to determine if a SD can afford to be in an arrangement with me.
   4. Respect: yes mutual respect how can we get respect if we do not give it when deserved
   5. Be a gentlemen...it is more than opening up doors...it is knowing how to treat others with dignity and respect both in public and in private.
   6. Appreciative: If my SD appreciates what I do for him he will most likely be true to his word and make sure my allowance is always delivered promptly because the arrangement is really about appreciating each other.
   7. Clear Realistic Expectations:  This for me is a deal breaker... both sides need to express what their expectations are in clear realistic terms, a potential SD needs to speak up and let me know what his expectations are so I can determine if they are in mesh with my own.
   8. Considerate:  Being thoughtful, and considerate of my needs to me means being open to some extent and not putting me in a position that makes me feel fear or great discomfort.
   9. Practices healthy living to some degree.. social drinking is fine but every day over indulgence is not.. and taking care of ones body just lets us know how sweet it can be if he develops a little stamina under the sheets... oh so delicious.
   10. Has a complete profile which captures a little bit of the successful man... not one that is full of fake boastful brags.. men of power who have made it do not need to toot their own horn so loudly.
   11. Financial Stable: yep money is not first folks... financial honesty is up there but having the money means little if he is not interested in showing his appreciation .  In finance often a SD will take hits in the stock market or even in his own business and at times find himself in a predicament where cash flow is tight for short periods of time.  Knowing he can still show his appreciation for what I do for him is so important.
   12. Easy Going Personality:  Yes, personality matters.. if you want a successful arrangement you need to search for a personality that will mesh with your own.  Does he take himself too serious?  Life too serious?  Does he enjoy humorous stories and likes to laugh?  Get to know the personality before the thickness of the wallet if you are searching for an arrangement that will last longer than a month or two.
   13. Diplomatic and Positive:  A man who practices diplomacy is such a turn on for me.. he knows how to meet half way and how to avoid drama by doing so.  Having a positive upbeat view on life is an added plus.
   14. Communication: Writing Style demonstrates intellect and when talking on the phone I look for his ability to communicate in a clear distinct manner, I also note topics that he demonstrates little knowledge of that gives me clues to his honesty level.
   15. Demonstrates a knowledge of what a good sugar arrangement is!  This is not a deal breaker when it is a newbie SD but he must be open to understanding the it is not buying sex but actually based on appreciating each other and what both do for each other to make it mutually beneficial for me it is about him providing an allowance but it is also about building trust and open communication and making each meet better than last.
   16. Well Dressed when appropriate.
   17. Mentor: be willing to share knowledge and teach to some extent.
   18. Suave and Sophisticated:  for me this is desirable but never a deal breaker if he has manners. ;)
   19. Location:  I live in the U.S.A. so for me it is desirable that he live in the U.S. but if he comes monthly to this country I do think about it.  Another state is not a deal breaker for me.. and it is fun to play away from home.
   20. Talk meets Walk: well-spoken – smart, articulate and witty in real life if it is listed on a profile.. just be who you are and avoid the airs.. no one enjoys lies.