When we enter the sugar bowl we are often unprepared and at one point everyone is a newbie.. and slowly we learn how to negotiate an arrangement in the sugar world. We often meet lots of fakes and just when we think we have heard everything and try to learn from the mistakes we have made.. some how ones slips through that tops everything we have seen so far. I am usually a very patient person and actually believe in Karma that what you put out comes back to you.. but lately I have had my doubts.. as the few bumps in the road I have ran into I have dealt with them being true to myself and keeping my dignity and sweet spirit through out. So tonight I get a phone call on my sugar phone but I did not recognize the number and for someone to be calling it I assume I gave this person the number.
I answer and he says hello how have you been sugar.. I did not recognize the voice but he called me sugar so automatically I think it is someone who I had been messaging that had not gotten around to calling me until now. I tell him I am doing well ask him how he has been.. He tells me good.. wants to know if he is calling me at a bad time. Of course I tell him no.. desperately trying to rack my brain to determine who I am talking too. He tells me he has been very busy lately but he had something very exciting to share with me.. so I start thinking he must have just made an arrangement with someone else and giving me a courtesy call.. I mean like what else would it be. So I tell him well tell me.. but before you do could you please refresh my memory on who you are can you give me your profile number??
He was quiet for a second and then said oh you mean my account number.. and gave me a 6 digit number.. so I am booting up my computer to look it up not really thinking about the fact that he said account number so he starts telling me this story about this sweet little gal with the face of angel.. and I am thinking OMG he is actually going to go into details about his new sugar babe.. still waiting on computer to load.. so I try to stall him.. asking him why he feels he needs to tell me about this. He starts laughing and told me when he finishes I will understand..so he launches back into this story about Mary with the face of an angel.. and how she was seeing this guy but they had not had sex but shortly after seeing this guy she became pregnant.. I started laughing saying that is why all women should insist on rain coats.. no laughter from him just silence.. and at this point I am logging into the site where my profile is and going to search my profile number to see if I remember this person but when I entered the number I got nothing.. so now I am confused.. and he is asking me how do I not know this happened in the winter where a flimsy rain coat would not be much protection WTF.. OMG now I am getting more confused.. and I interrupt telling him I have no idea who I am talking to and I entered his number but could not pull up his profile is he sure he gave me the correct number.. again he says you mean my account.. your profile on SA.. what is SA.. OMG who am I talking too? So I just spit it out there and said the only ones who have my sugar phone number are potential sugar daddies and you have my number but for the life of me I have no idea who you are? A very shocked voice on the other end says is this Rebecca? I said not and you are not a sugar daddy are you?.. he informs me NO and maybe I need to hear the end of his story and introduces himself as a Pastor from St. Micheals...OMG.. ouch.. now after feeling like I just confessed or something I patiently let him finish story realizing at that point he was telling the story of Mother Mary...and when he finished he was correlating the no room at the Inn with the amount of people in the area that are losing their homes in this economy and was looking for volunteers and donations to help the homeless as the weather is turning cold and their shelter has many needs..Feeling very unsure of myself I offer help and now you know he has to figure out that my extra money is coming from a sugar daddy..lol.. and he graciously thanks me.. tells me where to send the check and hangs up after he takes my information.. Tonight my halo which I keep polished and sparkling feels a little tarnished tonight. The moral of my story is never take for granted that just because someone is calling you on your sugar phone that it has anything to do with sugar..lol.. and since when do associate pastors make the calls themselves?
Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation when you are searching and due to the fact that you are speaking with more than one potential or have given out your phone number to more than one person that you struggle to figure out who you are talking to? In the future I will not take it for granted that just because that phone rings that it has anything to do with sugar dating.. the kicker is he was actually calling Rebecca who I assume has donated before and either miscalled the number or that is who had the number before me as I just recently got this disposable phone for sugar purposes last month so I would not be giving out my personal one. Either way it all happens for a reason and I started thinking about the holidays and how many people would be going without if it were not for organizations like this so I am actually glad I got the call and donated.. and plan to call there in the morning and see what else I can do to help.. yes volunteer.. if they allow angels with tarnished halos to help. ;) We often get so caught up in the sugar world of pampering and being pampered that is easy to forget all those who are suffering and going without during the holidays so I challenge everyone who reads this blog to think about making some strangers life a little sweeter this year and donate to one of your local shelters or charities that help provide food or gifts for children during the holiday season.
Showing posts with label quality sugar dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quality sugar dating. Show all posts
When a flicker becomes a flame!
Hello Sugar Sisters and SD's
Most of you who read my blog know I recently changed lots of things about my search process and evening choosing an SD who could not offer me as much financial support as I needed but I felt that his quality character was equally important. Last night I had a date with him which is the last time I will see him this year.. and that little flicker that I saw in his character turned into a giant flame. He came bearing gifts and not the traditional stuff you expect out of your SD. No shoes, jewelery, or lingerie. So you are wondering what gives?
As you know I am in school and working hard but for my chosen field it requires much added expense in the cost of materials that I need for painting and sculpting. He made three trips to his SUV which was loaded with so many blessing. Slabs of various clays, canvas, and other supplies I was running dangerously low on.. I just had an installation art show which was a success but have my big show that showcases my talents next year and still have not got all the required pieces ready for it. I was so humbled by this act of kindness and appreciation. It simply validated what I already had realized about this exceptional SD and yes girls, sometimes it is those gifts that move us closer to our goals that count more than a trinket.
So last night I spent an amazing evening wrapped up in the arms of my SD.. grateful I gave him the chance and that little flicker burned hotly throughout the night into a giant flame that could not be extinguished. I did not get any sleep..lol.. but I left this morning feeling so very satisfied in every way. And the moral to what I am sharing is simple.. when we create a bond with an SD based on understanding, trust and honesty, and daring to be humble and vulnerable to let them see who we really are.. they will often develop a mutual concern for us and find ways to make sure our lives our easier. As for the supplies.. this is one of the things I had my allowance earmarked for and have already gotten the allowance to take care of me through the end of the year.. this was extra so when I factor the cost of the supplies he brought which were substantial it moved me to the category of assistance I was seeking in the first place.
With his schedule we are not to see each other again until January.. but he asked me if he could get back here for one day in Dec. if I would consider seeing him.. OH Yes!!! that was my answer without hesitation. It is often hard to find the time during the holiday season but last night was so sweet and now I am so grateful that I accepted his arrangement. So was my search for quality worth it... I think so but time will tell as this is still a new arrangement. What I have learned in this journey is to just be me, take the time to know a Pot before meeting him, make sure you know who the person is and take the time to learn enough about him to feel comfortable and establish an element of trust. There were a few contacts who tried to rush me and even one who wanted a free tryout.. I am not a tryout kind of girl neither free or paid. I came into this with the goal to have a sugar relationship like I have had in the past, one that feels like you are with your best friend at times, one that has smoking passion and will not fall to the 3 month curse.
What I have found is a mutually beneficial sugar arrangement that is already growing in trust with each date and although there are times that I will have to go for 6 to 8 weeks without seeing him as at this time I can not travel overseas at this stage of my finishing school due to art exhibits etc. , I ended up with exactly what I set out to find. Sure I had lots of bumps along the way and I always said that it would just make the sugar arrangement I chose for myself at some point to be all the sweeter...and that statement rings so true now. So is taking the time to find the right arrangement for you worth it? I can only speak for myself but I think so.
Most of you who read my blog know I recently changed lots of things about my search process and evening choosing an SD who could not offer me as much financial support as I needed but I felt that his quality character was equally important. Last night I had a date with him which is the last time I will see him this year.. and that little flicker that I saw in his character turned into a giant flame. He came bearing gifts and not the traditional stuff you expect out of your SD. No shoes, jewelery, or lingerie. So you are wondering what gives?
As you know I am in school and working hard but for my chosen field it requires much added expense in the cost of materials that I need for painting and sculpting. He made three trips to his SUV which was loaded with so many blessing. Slabs of various clays, canvas, and other supplies I was running dangerously low on.. I just had an installation art show which was a success but have my big show that showcases my talents next year and still have not got all the required pieces ready for it. I was so humbled by this act of kindness and appreciation. It simply validated what I already had realized about this exceptional SD and yes girls, sometimes it is those gifts that move us closer to our goals that count more than a trinket.
So last night I spent an amazing evening wrapped up in the arms of my SD.. grateful I gave him the chance and that little flicker burned hotly throughout the night into a giant flame that could not be extinguished. I did not get any sleep..lol.. but I left this morning feeling so very satisfied in every way. And the moral to what I am sharing is simple.. when we create a bond with an SD based on understanding, trust and honesty, and daring to be humble and vulnerable to let them see who we really are.. they will often develop a mutual concern for us and find ways to make sure our lives our easier. As for the supplies.. this is one of the things I had my allowance earmarked for and have already gotten the allowance to take care of me through the end of the year.. this was extra so when I factor the cost of the supplies he brought which were substantial it moved me to the category of assistance I was seeking in the first place.
With his schedule we are not to see each other again until January.. but he asked me if he could get back here for one day in Dec. if I would consider seeing him.. OH Yes!!! that was my answer without hesitation. It is often hard to find the time during the holiday season but last night was so sweet and now I am so grateful that I accepted his arrangement. So was my search for quality worth it... I think so but time will tell as this is still a new arrangement. What I have learned in this journey is to just be me, take the time to know a Pot before meeting him, make sure you know who the person is and take the time to learn enough about him to feel comfortable and establish an element of trust. There were a few contacts who tried to rush me and even one who wanted a free tryout.. I am not a tryout kind of girl neither free or paid. I came into this with the goal to have a sugar relationship like I have had in the past, one that feels like you are with your best friend at times, one that has smoking passion and will not fall to the 3 month curse.
What I have found is a mutually beneficial sugar arrangement that is already growing in trust with each date and although there are times that I will have to go for 6 to 8 weeks without seeing him as at this time I can not travel overseas at this stage of my finishing school due to art exhibits etc. , I ended up with exactly what I set out to find. Sure I had lots of bumps along the way and I always said that it would just make the sugar arrangement I chose for myself at some point to be all the sweeter...and that statement rings so true now. So is taking the time to find the right arrangement for you worth it? I can only speak for myself but I think so.
Quality versus Quantity: Final Chapter
As I transitioned meeting pot SD's from real life events to searching in the online world using the amazing technology that we are blessed with, I have learned that it is so much harder in the online format. We do not initially have the opportunity to look in a pot's eyes or observe body language that is often a key way to discovering a person's truthfulness. We are often faced with quantity in contacts that lack quality and oh it is so frustrating. I purposely listed a link to definitions for quality as there is one thing that sticks out in the definition:
- any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
- basic nature; character; kind
- the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
- excellence; superiorityThe first four all refer to something that is superior.. a cut above the rest and basic nature or character! That's right quality is that element that sets apart those designer shoes from the Pay-less Shoes or that Dior , Channel or Versace outfit from those so called designer labels at discount stores. We ladies know our clothes.. know that the quality of the fabric makes them last longer, the way it is sewn strengthens those seams and the cut of the cloth often gives us that extra fabulous look. It is that degree of excellence that something or someone possesses! When we put on the true designer clothes, we know we look our best, they are designed to fit us in a way that shows off our bodies and accentuates our best features to perfection. We gain confidence when we are dressed in clothing that makes a statement.A potential sugar can talk and paint a lovely picture, anyone can talk but this does not mean that their words even have an element of truth in them. On the flip side anyone if they can afford it can put on the designer garments but at the end of the day this does not make their basic nature one that is of excellence as the garments can not make up for lack of character! Quality is the complete package! The definition also refers to a social standing.. and yes there is where a real SD can afford an arrangement, however, that still does not mean he retains the quality of character and where we need to really examine what qualities a potential has that would make him or her desirable in an arrangement. This also means a critical hard look at ourselves and our own character and what sets us aside from the rest and use those characteristic elements to our advantage. If it is a more traditional sugar arrangement that one wants then we need to examine what is important to us when it comes to quality character traits. A successful arrangement for me in the past has involved opening myself up to a SD, being honest and at times vulnerable and trust that he appreciated me enough to do the same. For awhile I had a few bad experiences in my search as I forgot what is important to me.. and yes having financial help is important but what was more important was that the person I chose to develop a SD/SB relationship with me be someone I can trust and learn from. Chemistry is important but what good is chemistry if there are so many character deficits that create drama. On the flip side I know that many Sugar Daddies feel the same way and often find after a short period of time the SB is not who she presented her self to be. It is a two way street and really an arrangement is all about appreciation! He appreciates me, who I am, what I do for him so he wants to help me and visa versa.. I appreciate my SD so I do things to show him how much I appreciate him.. both in and out of the bedroom. We often get caught up in perceived drama as we initially forget to cover things when we make an arrangement that covers how much contact. Some SD's want occasional contact in between meets and others want a lot ..phone call, text or email.. they want to feel a connection to their sugar. As an SB I learned to put those little details on the table in advance to make sure we are on the same page with how often meeting, how much contact, how much discretion is necessary.. if this is solely a behind closed doors arrangement or one that requires traveling, doing social things. Most important is sharing a piece of ourselves.. showing our character and having respect for our SD.. not belittling him because he is older. After all we are the ones looking.. for a sugar relationship not for an ever after scenario.
Quality versus Quanity Part3: The List
My Quality list while not a short one has become a measuring stick for me when I meet a potential daddy, I have learned that the more traits they have on my list the more interested and attracted I am going to be. Now you might think that money will be on the top of my list and although it does make my list it does not top it. Why? Many people have wealth or at least have the means to afford a sugar babe, however, money does not mean a man who has desirable traits except green backs. I put the mutual back into the meaning of mutually beneficial arrangement for my sugar experiences. In doing this I took back my sugar power as I got caught in a rut of giving my power away thinking I was obligated to respect and treat the person with dignity that I was in an arrangement with even if it was detrimental for me. After my experience with Mr. Bobble-head I viewed it as a wake up call.. except for his drinking he was actually very pleasant, kind, and generous. All desirable traits except for the alcohol consumption. One night I sat with pencil and paper in hand and looked at what I thought Quality was for starters.My definition as applies to a SD: a characteristic trait that defines the apparent individual nature of a potential sugar. I searched online and found the best definition on your dictionary which states:(retrieved at http://www.yourdictionary.com/Quality )
- any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
- basic nature; character; kind
- the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
- excellence; superiority
- Now Rare position, capacity, or role
- Now Rare high social position
- Now Chiefly Dial. people of high social position Approaching my sugar search as I do my studies in school I look for excellence : my grades in school are important to me.. so why not apply this to my search in a SD? Hence, my list was born with me sitting on the bed in only a little teddy with no underwear and slathered up in lotion.. which was so appropriate for my mood that night. My list:
- Honesty: both vocally and through media means.. for example the picture you send to me via email is actually you and current not from 25 years ago..
- Well Mannered!
- Financial Honesty: again a category separate from basic honesty... because it is not important that I know exactly how much you make so state less if you are uncomfortable with a SB knowing but never over exaggerate as this is pure fake and I use income guidelines to determine if a SD can afford to be in an arrangement with me.
- Respect: yes mutual respect how can we get respect if we do not give it when deserved
- Be a gentlemen...it is more than opening up doors...it is knowing how to treat others with dignity and respect both in public and in private.
- Appreciative: If my SD appreciates what I do for him he will most likely be true to his word and make sure my allowance is always delivered promptly because the arrangement is really about appreciating each other.
- Clear Realistic Expectations: This for me is a deal breaker... both sides need to express what their expectations are in clear realistic terms, a potential SD needs to speak up and let me know what his expectations are so I can determine if they are in mesh with my own.
- Considerate: Being thoughtful, and considerate of my needs to me means being open to some extent and not putting me in a position that makes me feel fear or great discomfort.
- Practices healthy living to some degree.. social drinking is fine but every day over indulgence is not.. and taking care of ones body just lets us know how sweet it can be if he develops a little stamina under the sheets... oh so delicious.
- Has a complete profile which captures a little bit of the successful man... not one that is full of fake boastful brags.. men of power who have made it do not need to toot their own horn so loudly.
- Financial Stable: yep money is not first folks... financial honesty is up there but having the money means little if he is not interested in showing his appreciation . In finance often a SD will take hits in the stock market or even in his own business and at times find himself in a predicament where cash flow is tight for short periods of time. Knowing he can still show his appreciation for what I do for him is so important.
- Easy Going Personality: Yes, personality matters.. if you want a successful arrangement you need to search for a personality that will mesh with your own. Does he take himself too serious? Life too serious? Does he enjoy humorous stories and likes to laugh? Get to know the personality before the thickness of the wallet if you are searching for an arrangement that will last longer than a month or two.
- Diplomatic and Positive: A man who practices diplomacy is such a turn on for me.. he knows how to meet half way and how to avoid drama by doing so. Having a positive upbeat view on life is an added plus.
- Communication: Writing Style demonstrates intellect and when talking on the phone I look for his ability to communicate in a clear distinct manner, I also note topics that he demonstrates little knowledge of that gives me clues to his honesty level.
- Demonstrates a knowledge of what a good sugar arrangement is! This is not a deal breaker when it is a newbie SD but he must be open to understanding the it is not buying sex but actually based on appreciating each other and what both do for each other to make it mutually beneficial for me it is about him providing an allowance but it is also about building trust and open communication and making each meet better than last.
- Well Dressed when appropriate.
- Mentor: be willing to share knowledge and teach to some extent.
- Suave and Sophisticated: for me this is desirable but never a deal breaker if he has manners. ;)
- Location: I live in the U.S.A. so for me it is desirable that he live in the U.S. but if he comes monthly to this country I do think about it. Another state is not a deal breaker for me.. and it is fun to play away from home.
- Talk meets Walk: well-spoken – smart, articulate and witty in real life if it is listed on a profile.. just be who you are and avoid the airs.. no one enjoys lies.
Quality versus Quantity:Part 2
Last week I posted how hard it is to find one good genuine sugar relationship yet I am swamped with contacts so why is that? I attracted quantity...every wannabe in a hundred mile radius! I have been changing how I interview and screen a Potential and have considered changing my profile when the most amazing thing happened..I found a genuine article of an SD which I will blog about later. In my quest to find an arrangement that I would feel comfortable with I have had to meet quite a few Potentials.. enters Mr. Bobblehead. What can I saw about this adorable man at first glance except the place where he gets his shirts cleaned at needs to lay off the starch around the collars!!!
At first glance he had amazing potential.. over the course of a couple weeks we had exchanged emails, graduating to phone calls and text.. even a skype or two which gave me a glimpse of where he was at.. surroundings were very plush and I slowly realized he could afford to pursue a sugar arrangement. On a Thursday he calls and suggest we meet in Chicago as he will be there on business and I happily agree feeling more comfortable about taking the extra time to get to know him. Conversations with him have been great and we have talked about so many things like world affairs, politics, human interest items that have come up on the news and also about ourselves. He never came off condescending and actually practiced active listening skills. So I spent the rest of the day heading off for a little extra pampering, facial, nail salon, hair dresser.. and of course my beloved gym. I thought I would go out of the way to show him how I can look good for any occasion and the next morning carefully choose my wardrope opting for a hot little pencil skirt and matching jacket by Hermes and a Dior white linen off the shoulder blouse that is tailor to fit like a second skin...classic but sexy..add to that 4 inch stilettos, silk stockings held up by a black lace garter belt by Victoria Secrets , a statement necklace in 10k gold with black onyx and matching earrings.. matching handbag and a few dabs of channel perfume and I felt completely put together for any occasion.
Our meeting was at 6 p.m and I arrived with 10 minutes to spare as I was meeting him in the lobby of his hotel and the butterflies were working overtime from anticipation. As I walked into the lobby I got a few appreciative smiles and nods from a group of gentlemen gathered their and before I could approach the desk to have his room rang.. the very debonair gentlemen approached me and informed me my pictures and skype did not do me justice and I looked even better in person. ;) Nice opening line, I will give him that but he had already been drinking as I could smell the alcohol on his breath. So we headed out to dinner to a restaurant that had a great view of the city.. and started with drinks.. I had one glass of wine while he knocked down 6 double shots of scotch even before we ordered dinner and all the time he maintained a charming easy going demeanor. Never showing any signs of actually being intoxicated I figured he must hold his liquor well. After we ordered dinner I started sharing a humorous story with him and much to my amazement he started laughing very loudly like I donkey...hee hawing so loudly that other patrons at the restaurant were turning their heads staring. As he laughed his head would bobble like one of those little bobble-head dolls , and it was more pronounced due to the stiff starched collar and his short neck. I tried to control my amusement and encourage him to eat.. thinking he might actually be drunk but he was walking good when he got to the restaurant. Conversation continued to flow and through all of this he was so pleasant and enjoyable that I just ignored the occasional stares when his laughter got so loud. After dinner we headed down the elevator and he suggested a night cap which I quickly refused..and proceeded to the door.. it is one of those revolving doors that you push and I get in with him right behind me and take no more than 3 or 4 steps when Mr. Bobble-head bobbles right on top of me...yes you heard me right he falls right on top of me in a revolving door with glass all around..OMG was I freaked. He had passed out.. he had never shown any signs of stumbling when he walked but I knew he had too much to drink. After a little maneuvering and wiggling I was able to get out from underneath him.. and discovered that the door was in a position that only had about a 3 or 4 inch opening to the outside and glass all around us.. I checked his pulse to make sure he was okay and then tried with all my might to drag him forward so I could keep moving the door forward. A man passing by outside saw my dilemma and helped when I got enough of a gap for him to reach in an pull.. as he was able to get Mr. Bobble-head out I realized that as I had offered to drive I was still responsible for him and this gentleman got a first aide kit out of his vehicle with smelling salts and brought the man too. He helped me get him to my car and I took him back .. he was apologetic but getting drunker by the minutes.. as I pulled up I had the valet help him into the hotel and headed home. The next day I had an email from him that stated he had a wonderful time..lol.. and sorry for getting so inebriated and wanted to meet again.. but I passed. The point of sharing this story is because it opened my eyes to all the things we do not know about each other in the sugar world. As a sugar babe it is generally expected that we maintain an air of being all together...the complete package at all times.. and I do not think that men even realize just what we go through to look good for them.. all the waxing.. salon appointments...working out... to deliver that complete package.
SD's often focus on the outer package where women often focus on the inside as well as the out side. Mr. Bobble-head had a great deal going for him and the only problem for me with him was his excessive drinking which caused some mild discomfort for me.. especially so early in learning more about him. So what is quality when one is searching for a potential sugar... are you concerned only with the money? how he looks? or how he acts? Maybe you want the complete package too... yet trust me as in every day life we all have imperfections that others do not like but often tolerate. Gratefully I have learned from Mr. Bobble-head and still exchange an occasional email with him but have learned he often has alcoholic blackouts so very glad I passed. From this experience I started to examine what qualities a person needed to possess for me to feel comfortable. I am not talking about normal everyday dating relationships which my standards would even be higher but in the Sugar World. Social drinking is fine but you must know when to stop so I realized I have to ask about how much drinking an SD perceives as social drinking.Being a woman we need to always think of safety and when someone is under the influence of alcohol they can often get out of control so I realize initially I need to watch for these types of signs to maintain my own safety. So on to the list>>>>>>
My Quality List: What make an SD a man of Quality?
Honesty... this is one of the most desired traits among us girls... we like to know we can count on them.. and honesty in their sugar relationship is an absolute must for me... want more??? Stay tune to Part 3 of the complete list and yes there will be a few surprises that most do not think about... what would be on your quality list?
At first glance he had amazing potential.. over the course of a couple weeks we had exchanged emails, graduating to phone calls and text.. even a skype or two which gave me a glimpse of where he was at.. surroundings were very plush and I slowly realized he could afford to pursue a sugar arrangement. On a Thursday he calls and suggest we meet in Chicago as he will be there on business and I happily agree feeling more comfortable about taking the extra time to get to know him. Conversations with him have been great and we have talked about so many things like world affairs, politics, human interest items that have come up on the news and also about ourselves. He never came off condescending and actually practiced active listening skills. So I spent the rest of the day heading off for a little extra pampering, facial, nail salon, hair dresser.. and of course my beloved gym. I thought I would go out of the way to show him how I can look good for any occasion and the next morning carefully choose my wardrope opting for a hot little pencil skirt and matching jacket by Hermes and a Dior white linen off the shoulder blouse that is tailor to fit like a second skin...classic but sexy..add to that 4 inch stilettos, silk stockings held up by a black lace garter belt by Victoria Secrets , a statement necklace in 10k gold with black onyx and matching earrings.. matching handbag and a few dabs of channel perfume and I felt completely put together for any occasion.
Our meeting was at 6 p.m and I arrived with 10 minutes to spare as I was meeting him in the lobby of his hotel and the butterflies were working overtime from anticipation. As I walked into the lobby I got a few appreciative smiles and nods from a group of gentlemen gathered their and before I could approach the desk to have his room rang.. the very debonair gentlemen approached me and informed me my pictures and skype did not do me justice and I looked even better in person. ;) Nice opening line, I will give him that but he had already been drinking as I could smell the alcohol on his breath. So we headed out to dinner to a restaurant that had a great view of the city.. and started with drinks.. I had one glass of wine while he knocked down 6 double shots of scotch even before we ordered dinner and all the time he maintained a charming easy going demeanor. Never showing any signs of actually being intoxicated I figured he must hold his liquor well. After we ordered dinner I started sharing a humorous story with him and much to my amazement he started laughing very loudly like I donkey...hee hawing so loudly that other patrons at the restaurant were turning their heads staring. As he laughed his head would bobble like one of those little bobble-head dolls , and it was more pronounced due to the stiff starched collar and his short neck. I tried to control my amusement and encourage him to eat.. thinking he might actually be drunk but he was walking good when he got to the restaurant. Conversation continued to flow and through all of this he was so pleasant and enjoyable that I just ignored the occasional stares when his laughter got so loud. After dinner we headed down the elevator and he suggested a night cap which I quickly refused..and proceeded to the door.. it is one of those revolving doors that you push and I get in with him right behind me and take no more than 3 or 4 steps when Mr. Bobble-head bobbles right on top of me...yes you heard me right he falls right on top of me in a revolving door with glass all around..OMG was I freaked. He had passed out.. he had never shown any signs of stumbling when he walked but I knew he had too much to drink. After a little maneuvering and wiggling I was able to get out from underneath him.. and discovered that the door was in a position that only had about a 3 or 4 inch opening to the outside and glass all around us.. I checked his pulse to make sure he was okay and then tried with all my might to drag him forward so I could keep moving the door forward. A man passing by outside saw my dilemma and helped when I got enough of a gap for him to reach in an pull.. as he was able to get Mr. Bobble-head out I realized that as I had offered to drive I was still responsible for him and this gentleman got a first aide kit out of his vehicle with smelling salts and brought the man too. He helped me get him to my car and I took him back .. he was apologetic but getting drunker by the minutes.. as I pulled up I had the valet help him into the hotel and headed home. The next day I had an email from him that stated he had a wonderful time..lol.. and sorry for getting so inebriated and wanted to meet again.. but I passed. The point of sharing this story is because it opened my eyes to all the things we do not know about each other in the sugar world. As a sugar babe it is generally expected that we maintain an air of being all together...the complete package at all times.. and I do not think that men even realize just what we go through to look good for them.. all the waxing.. salon appointments...working out... to deliver that complete package.
SD's often focus on the outer package where women often focus on the inside as well as the out side. Mr. Bobble-head had a great deal going for him and the only problem for me with him was his excessive drinking which caused some mild discomfort for me.. especially so early in learning more about him. So what is quality when one is searching for a potential sugar... are you concerned only with the money? how he looks? or how he acts? Maybe you want the complete package too... yet trust me as in every day life we all have imperfections that others do not like but often tolerate. Gratefully I have learned from Mr. Bobble-head and still exchange an occasional email with him but have learned he often has alcoholic blackouts so very glad I passed. From this experience I started to examine what qualities a person needed to possess for me to feel comfortable. I am not talking about normal everyday dating relationships which my standards would even be higher but in the Sugar World. Social drinking is fine but you must know when to stop so I realized I have to ask about how much drinking an SD perceives as social drinking.Being a woman we need to always think of safety and when someone is under the influence of alcohol they can often get out of control so I realize initially I need to watch for these types of signs to maintain my own safety. So on to the list>>>>>>
My Quality List: What make an SD a man of Quality?
Honesty... this is one of the most desired traits among us girls... we like to know we can count on them.. and honesty in their sugar relationship is an absolute must for me... want more??? Stay tune to Part 3 of the complete list and yes there will be a few surprises that most do not think about... what would be on your quality list?
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