When we enter the sugar bowl we are often unprepared and at one point everyone is a newbie.. and slowly we learn how to negotiate an arrangement in the sugar world. We often meet lots of fakes and just when we think we have heard everything and try to learn from the mistakes we have made.. some how ones slips through that tops everything we have seen so far. I am usually a very patient person and actually believe in Karma that what you put out comes back to you.. but lately I have had my doubts.. as the few bumps in the road I have ran into I have dealt with them being true to myself and keeping my dignity and sweet spirit through out. So tonight I get a phone call on my sugar phone but I did not recognize the number and for someone to be calling it I assume I gave this person the number.
I answer and he says hello how have you been sugar.. I did not recognize the voice but he called me sugar so automatically I think it is someone who I had been messaging that had not gotten around to calling me until now. I tell him I am doing well ask him how he has been.. He tells me good.. wants to know if he is calling me at a bad time. Of course I tell him no.. desperately trying to rack my brain to determine who I am talking too. He tells me he has been very busy lately but he had something very exciting to share with me.. so I start thinking he must have just made an arrangement with someone else and giving me a courtesy call.. I mean like what else would it be. So I tell him well tell me.. but before you do could you please refresh my memory on who you are can you give me your profile number??
He was quiet for a second and then said oh you mean my account number.. and gave me a 6 digit number.. so I am booting up my computer to look it up not really thinking about the fact that he said account number so he starts telling me this story about this sweet little gal with the face of angel.. and I am thinking OMG he is actually going to go into details about his new sugar babe.. still waiting on computer to load.. so I try to stall him.. asking him why he feels he needs to tell me about this. He starts laughing and told me when he finishes I will understand..so he launches back into this story about Mary with the face of an angel.. and how she was seeing this guy but they had not had sex but shortly after seeing this guy she became pregnant.. I started laughing saying that is why all women should insist on rain coats.. no laughter from him just silence.. and at this point I am logging into the site where my profile is and going to search my profile number to see if I remember this person but when I entered the number I got nothing.. so now I am confused.. and he is asking me how do I not know this happened in the winter where a flimsy rain coat would not be much protection WTF.. OMG now I am getting more confused.. and I interrupt telling him I have no idea who I am talking to and I entered his number but could not pull up his profile is he sure he gave me the correct number.. again he says you mean my account.. your profile on SA.. what is SA.. OMG who am I talking too? So I just spit it out there and said the only ones who have my sugar phone number are potential sugar daddies and you have my number but for the life of me I have no idea who you are? A very shocked voice on the other end says is this Rebecca? I said not and you are not a sugar daddy are you?.. he informs me NO and maybe I need to hear the end of his story and introduces himself as a Pastor from St. Micheals...OMG.. ouch.. now after feeling like I just confessed or something I patiently let him finish story realizing at that point he was telling the story of Mother Mary...and when he finished he was correlating the no room at the Inn with the amount of people in the area that are losing their homes in this economy and was looking for volunteers and donations to help the homeless as the weather is turning cold and their shelter has many needs..Feeling very unsure of myself I offer help and now you know he has to figure out that my extra money is coming from a sugar daddy..lol.. and he graciously thanks me.. tells me where to send the check and hangs up after he takes my information.. Tonight my halo which I keep polished and sparkling feels a little tarnished tonight. The moral of my story is never take for granted that just because someone is calling you on your sugar phone that it has anything to do with sugar..lol.. and since when do associate pastors make the calls themselves?
Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation when you are searching and due to the fact that you are speaking with more than one potential or have given out your phone number to more than one person that you struggle to figure out who you are talking to? In the future I will not take it for granted that just because that phone rings that it has anything to do with sugar dating.. the kicker is he was actually calling Rebecca who I assume has donated before and either miscalled the number or that is who had the number before me as I just recently got this disposable phone for sugar purposes last month so I would not be giving out my personal one. Either way it all happens for a reason and I started thinking about the holidays and how many people would be going without if it were not for organizations like this so I am actually glad I got the call and donated.. and plan to call there in the morning and see what else I can do to help.. yes volunteer.. if they allow angels with tarnished halos to help. ;) We often get so caught up in the sugar world of pampering and being pampered that is easy to forget all those who are suffering and going without during the holidays so I challenge everyone who reads this blog to think about making some strangers life a little sweeter this year and donate to one of your local shelters or charities that help provide food or gifts for children during the holiday season.
Showing posts with label sugar arrangements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sugar arrangements. Show all posts
Quality versus Quanity Part3: The List
My Quality list while not a short one has become a measuring stick for me when I meet a potential daddy, I have learned that the more traits they have on my list the more interested and attracted I am going to be. Now you might think that money will be on the top of my list and although it does make my list it does not top it. Why? Many people have wealth or at least have the means to afford a sugar babe, however, money does not mean a man who has desirable traits except green backs. I put the mutual back into the meaning of mutually beneficial arrangement for my sugar experiences. In doing this I took back my sugar power as I got caught in a rut of giving my power away thinking I was obligated to respect and treat the person with dignity that I was in an arrangement with even if it was detrimental for me. After my experience with Mr. Bobble-head I viewed it as a wake up call.. except for his drinking he was actually very pleasant, kind, and generous. All desirable traits except for the alcohol consumption. One night I sat with pencil and paper in hand and looked at what I thought Quality was for starters.My definition as applies to a SD: a characteristic trait that defines the apparent individual nature of a potential sugar. I searched online and found the best definition on your dictionary which states:(retrieved at http://www.yourdictionary.com/Quality )
- any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
- basic nature; character; kind
- the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
- excellence; superiority
- Now Rare position, capacity, or role
- Now Rare high social position
- Now Chiefly Dial. people of high social position Approaching my sugar search as I do my studies in school I look for excellence : my grades in school are important to me.. so why not apply this to my search in a SD? Hence, my list was born with me sitting on the bed in only a little teddy with no underwear and slathered up in lotion.. which was so appropriate for my mood that night. My list:
- Honesty: both vocally and through media means.. for example the picture you send to me via email is actually you and current not from 25 years ago..
- Well Mannered!
- Financial Honesty: again a category separate from basic honesty... because it is not important that I know exactly how much you make so state less if you are uncomfortable with a SB knowing but never over exaggerate as this is pure fake and I use income guidelines to determine if a SD can afford to be in an arrangement with me.
- Respect: yes mutual respect how can we get respect if we do not give it when deserved
- Be a gentlemen...it is more than opening up doors...it is knowing how to treat others with dignity and respect both in public and in private.
- Appreciative: If my SD appreciates what I do for him he will most likely be true to his word and make sure my allowance is always delivered promptly because the arrangement is really about appreciating each other.
- Clear Realistic Expectations: This for me is a deal breaker... both sides need to express what their expectations are in clear realistic terms, a potential SD needs to speak up and let me know what his expectations are so I can determine if they are in mesh with my own.
- Considerate: Being thoughtful, and considerate of my needs to me means being open to some extent and not putting me in a position that makes me feel fear or great discomfort.
- Practices healthy living to some degree.. social drinking is fine but every day over indulgence is not.. and taking care of ones body just lets us know how sweet it can be if he develops a little stamina under the sheets... oh so delicious.
- Has a complete profile which captures a little bit of the successful man... not one that is full of fake boastful brags.. men of power who have made it do not need to toot their own horn so loudly.
- Financial Stable: yep money is not first folks... financial honesty is up there but having the money means little if he is not interested in showing his appreciation . In finance often a SD will take hits in the stock market or even in his own business and at times find himself in a predicament where cash flow is tight for short periods of time. Knowing he can still show his appreciation for what I do for him is so important.
- Easy Going Personality: Yes, personality matters.. if you want a successful arrangement you need to search for a personality that will mesh with your own. Does he take himself too serious? Life too serious? Does he enjoy humorous stories and likes to laugh? Get to know the personality before the thickness of the wallet if you are searching for an arrangement that will last longer than a month or two.
- Diplomatic and Positive: A man who practices diplomacy is such a turn on for me.. he knows how to meet half way and how to avoid drama by doing so. Having a positive upbeat view on life is an added plus.
- Communication: Writing Style demonstrates intellect and when talking on the phone I look for his ability to communicate in a clear distinct manner, I also note topics that he demonstrates little knowledge of that gives me clues to his honesty level.
- Demonstrates a knowledge of what a good sugar arrangement is! This is not a deal breaker when it is a newbie SD but he must be open to understanding the it is not buying sex but actually based on appreciating each other and what both do for each other to make it mutually beneficial for me it is about him providing an allowance but it is also about building trust and open communication and making each meet better than last.
- Well Dressed when appropriate.
- Mentor: be willing to share knowledge and teach to some extent.
- Suave and Sophisticated: for me this is desirable but never a deal breaker if he has manners. ;)
- Location: I live in the U.S.A. so for me it is desirable that he live in the U.S. but if he comes monthly to this country I do think about it. Another state is not a deal breaker for me.. and it is fun to play away from home.
- Talk meets Walk: well-spoken – smart, articulate and witty in real life if it is listed on a profile.. just be who you are and avoid the airs.. no one enjoys lies.
Quality versus Quanity: Part 1
Recently while reading blogs I have noticed some comments regarding the quality available in the Sugar World and how this seems to be sadly lacking! I started contemplating this as I have had my share of contacts from fakes, pranksters and flat out kinky liars which I will explain later. I have changed my screening process, and now I am focusing on changing my profile but not my expectations. Having been in wonderful sugar arrangements before with exceptional S.D.'s I realize that in the past I have had the cream of the crop. Always being treated with dignity and respect... I did not realize when I started my new search how much the landscape in the Sugar World was changing. Like in real life we also must change with the times but I refuse to sacrifice my principles or expectations for something that would be sadly lacking! So let me set the stage for this lengthy exploration and what I am now learning.
In former sugar relationships, I felt pampered and always trusted my former S.D.'s without hesitation which happens with time. Each came with their own unique intriguing personalities and genuinely cared about my well being and in turn I cared about their well being making it easy to pamper and spoil them as well. I learned through these experiences that a good sugar arrangement for me was more than dollars and cents. It involved being honest, discreet when necessary, having good communication skills to avoid unwanted drama, carrying oneself with dignity and grace, enjoying laughter, hot passionate quiet moments together, being open to trying new things, positions, and mutual trust to share and try each others fantasies. This type of arrangement required me to be adaptable and often going the extra mile to cater to by S.D. which I did gratefully and gladly. I discovered so much about my own sensuality and sexuality ...that I realized just how good sugar sessions are.. hot.. sometimes wild.. sometimes romantic and so very satisfying. I was the lucky one.. each of my former S.D.'s are still friends today and I value their advice and wisdom. I tried a brief stint of traditional dating which left me completely flat after my last arrangement ended. Men my own age just do so little for me and men twice my age which I am attracted to seldom look my way in Real Life Situations.. unless they are looking for a S.B. ;).
Understanding exactly what I am searching for I set my sights on having another sugar arrangement but in my area the gene pool is sadly lacking.. so I expanded my search thinking I would find QUALITY by doing so. What I am learning is that my search is a work in progress.. for sure ;). In this economy there are people looking to take advantage.. and I am know realizing that my profile had given clues to the fakes that may be able to take advantage of my vulnerabilities and that I needed to look hard at how much I was giving away about myself.. for example not being in any relationship in real life... living alone.. the flexibility of my schedule and only asking for assistance and accepting it on the months that are hard for me to get through while in school. My frank honesty actually opened the doors to some of the bizarre contacts I have gotten. As I have talked to other S.B.'s whom I have made friends with I realized we all have similar stories and are all asking the same questions.. where are the quality S.D.'s. The flip side to this question is that many S.D.'s are questioning where the quality S.B.'s are! A very wise Guru looked at my profile and gave me some advice which I appreciate and value the wisdom of his words.. so I have been adjusting it and realized it was okay in my profile to post what I will not accept which includes P4P. A well written profile is key but a little mystery is okay too.. I realized I do not need to toot my own horn but instead use my artistic side to paint a picture with words without giving too much away initially.. remove hints of living alone etc. let my self show and be genuine but at the same time providing myself more anonymity. Even investing now in a throw away phone to give that number out instead of my real phones that lead right back to my home address. ;)
So what brought all this on? Hm-mm lets see.. paying for trips to meet a Pot Fake S.D. who promised to reimburse for the trip and did not... paying for an expensive dinner for another Pot S.D. when he created a scene...lol... a series of emails, text and a phone call from one that had not even gotten to the meet stage yet who got his rocks off by scaring me and even told me after he did so that he does it all the time and masturbates when he finally gets the girls number to make her think he actually knows her, where she lives.. and has no intentions of ever meeting or entering an arrangement. He learns about them by lurking in blogs or on face-book.. yes social network sites. At one point took over one month of emailing and talking on the phone with one Pot.. to learn when meeting him that he had kinks and wanted to dress his S.B. and send her down to a bar to watch her pick up a stranger.. go screw him in their hotel room and then join back up with him so he could taste the left overs and get all the details and then compare it to his technique. He was into things like fisting.. rough play and so on... so needless to say in my search I have gotten very discouraged.
Not being in an relationship has left me oversexed .. and really wanting to find that quality S.D. the kind that I know so well , who understands what a traditional sugar relationship is really about and appreciates a Sugar Babe who pampers back.. and gives him all her attention when they are together... one who is low maintenance , loyal, respectful, easy to talk to, open and honest, and one who avoids bringing drama into the arrangement. It is funny but it seems that the genuine quality S.D.'s that I seek are more intrigued with the drama filled S.B.'s who have drug problems..lol.. so I continue to search and question what I am doing wrong that is attracting all the losers. I just had new pictures taken of me in outdoor and indoor settings that give nothing away except a sweet smile and if they want more pictures they will have to ask for them and only after I have asked a few questions of my own. I am getting a lot more contacts in the past month then in the past yet Quantity means nothing in the scheme of things when there is no quality in the gene pool. Have you ran into similar situations?
In my next part I will share the story of Mr. Bobblehead and how that experience has motivated me to not give up on quest. I call him Bobblehead for a reason which I will soon reveal.. true story but a definite Ouch! for many..;) Also my list of desirable traits that separate a Pot SD from the rest and put him in my quality category.
In former sugar relationships, I felt pampered and always trusted my former S.D.'s without hesitation which happens with time. Each came with their own unique intriguing personalities and genuinely cared about my well being and in turn I cared about their well being making it easy to pamper and spoil them as well. I learned through these experiences that a good sugar arrangement for me was more than dollars and cents. It involved being honest, discreet when necessary, having good communication skills to avoid unwanted drama, carrying oneself with dignity and grace, enjoying laughter, hot passionate quiet moments together, being open to trying new things, positions, and mutual trust to share and try each others fantasies. This type of arrangement required me to be adaptable and often going the extra mile to cater to by S.D. which I did gratefully and gladly. I discovered so much about my own sensuality and sexuality ...that I realized just how good sugar sessions are.. hot.. sometimes wild.. sometimes romantic and so very satisfying. I was the lucky one.. each of my former S.D.'s are still friends today and I value their advice and wisdom. I tried a brief stint of traditional dating which left me completely flat after my last arrangement ended. Men my own age just do so little for me and men twice my age which I am attracted to seldom look my way in Real Life Situations.. unless they are looking for a S.B. ;).
Understanding exactly what I am searching for I set my sights on having another sugar arrangement but in my area the gene pool is sadly lacking.. so I expanded my search thinking I would find QUALITY by doing so. What I am learning is that my search is a work in progress.. for sure ;). In this economy there are people looking to take advantage.. and I am know realizing that my profile had given clues to the fakes that may be able to take advantage of my vulnerabilities and that I needed to look hard at how much I was giving away about myself.. for example not being in any relationship in real life... living alone.. the flexibility of my schedule and only asking for assistance and accepting it on the months that are hard for me to get through while in school. My frank honesty actually opened the doors to some of the bizarre contacts I have gotten. As I have talked to other S.B.'s whom I have made friends with I realized we all have similar stories and are all asking the same questions.. where are the quality S.D.'s. The flip side to this question is that many S.D.'s are questioning where the quality S.B.'s are! A very wise Guru looked at my profile and gave me some advice which I appreciate and value the wisdom of his words.. so I have been adjusting it and realized it was okay in my profile to post what I will not accept which includes P4P. A well written profile is key but a little mystery is okay too.. I realized I do not need to toot my own horn but instead use my artistic side to paint a picture with words without giving too much away initially.. remove hints of living alone etc. let my self show and be genuine but at the same time providing myself more anonymity. Even investing now in a throw away phone to give that number out instead of my real phones that lead right back to my home address. ;)
So what brought all this on? Hm-mm lets see.. paying for trips to meet a Pot Fake S.D. who promised to reimburse for the trip and did not... paying for an expensive dinner for another Pot S.D. when he created a scene...lol... a series of emails, text and a phone call from one that had not even gotten to the meet stage yet who got his rocks off by scaring me and even told me after he did so that he does it all the time and masturbates when he finally gets the girls number to make her think he actually knows her, where she lives.. and has no intentions of ever meeting or entering an arrangement. He learns about them by lurking in blogs or on face-book.. yes social network sites. At one point took over one month of emailing and talking on the phone with one Pot.. to learn when meeting him that he had kinks and wanted to dress his S.B. and send her down to a bar to watch her pick up a stranger.. go screw him in their hotel room and then join back up with him so he could taste the left overs and get all the details and then compare it to his technique. He was into things like fisting.. rough play and so on... so needless to say in my search I have gotten very discouraged.
Not being in an relationship has left me oversexed .. and really wanting to find that quality S.D. the kind that I know so well , who understands what a traditional sugar relationship is really about and appreciates a Sugar Babe who pampers back.. and gives him all her attention when they are together... one who is low maintenance , loyal, respectful, easy to talk to, open and honest, and one who avoids bringing drama into the arrangement. It is funny but it seems that the genuine quality S.D.'s that I seek are more intrigued with the drama filled S.B.'s who have drug problems..lol.. so I continue to search and question what I am doing wrong that is attracting all the losers. I just had new pictures taken of me in outdoor and indoor settings that give nothing away except a sweet smile and if they want more pictures they will have to ask for them and only after I have asked a few questions of my own. I am getting a lot more contacts in the past month then in the past yet Quantity means nothing in the scheme of things when there is no quality in the gene pool. Have you ran into similar situations?
In my next part I will share the story of Mr. Bobblehead and how that experience has motivated me to not give up on quest. I call him Bobblehead for a reason which I will soon reveal.. true story but a definite Ouch! for many..;) Also my list of desirable traits that separate a Pot SD from the rest and put him in my quality category.
To Be or Not to Be in the Sugar World
I recently have received quite a few emails from others who are exploring the sugar world. Each of them is trying to figure out if the sugar world is right for them and to some extent what a sugar relationship entails as they have started meeting a few Potentials. I am addressing it here in my blog but first must state that each person in the sugar world will have different experiences and encounters and you must know yourself and how you handle various situations to determine if it is right for you.
Why a sugar arrangement? Each of us have different reasons for exploring the sugar world and the misconception about greed does not apply to everyone. For some it is about goals they want to meet.. starting their own business.. college tuition .. help with books or software.. living expenses.. something they are saving for. For others it is about clothes, gifts, saving in a hard economy or just making ends meet and not going under. For some experience Sugars it is all about the excitement of the sugar relationship, getting to experience things they would not have the opportunity to do otherwise, going to exotic places and being a companion, friend and lover. A sugar arrangement also opens up many doors at times.. you can learn from the relationship where you are mentored.. learn about investments.. how to meet and reach your goals. For me I have found that a sugar arrangement can be very sweet.. better than chocolate. ;)
What it takes to be a Sugar Babe?
Some will tell you it takes tenacity, a tough skin, the ability to deal with rejection, the ability to role play. Others will say it takes skill to separate your real life from the sugar life, having the ability to spot a fake, and the ability to know when to say pass. To some extent it takes all these things but I have learned through time that the most important element to bring to the table is your honest self. Always be true to yourself and understand what you are getting into, gifts and financial help is wonderful but we sugars have our end to hold up as well. We need to learn right from the beginning what is expected from us and what are expectations are as well. Some Sugar Daddies have certain kinks and we need to ask questions that let us know if we are going to be comfortable in this type of situation, are we comfortable traveling immediately to foreign countries, going to swingers clubs if this is his kink? Being a Sugar takes courage to ask some difficult questions, honesty to allow the SD to feel connected to us. The arrangement is about finding someone who cares about our well-being and wants to help us.. to do this we need to show who we are to some extent and not put on airs or claim we know things that we don't. At times for me being a Sugar Babe is being able to face rejection gracefully, always keep open communication, be willing to grow and explore, be a best friend at times, a confidante, a lover, be discreet in public and wild cat behind clothes doors and in doing all this always be true to myself and be myself.
When to accept an arrangement: Never accept an arrangement that does not feel right.. do not settle as those types of arrangements never last long! If you are not comfortable dating a married SD simply do not agree to even meet those.. lately I have been contemplating why both sexes have the feeling that the other is so fake. It is because we do not bring our authentic self into the arrangement.. both sides sometimes present a facade that is not who they are. They pretend to have more than they do, use outdated pictures and basically are just curiosity seekers who this is a game to. Some are simply picture collectors and lately I came to the conclusion that the pictures I put on my profile will be what they will see until the first meeting. I am focused on a SD who wants more than just sex.. he wants to feel a connection and knows that building that bond makes me want to pamper and spoil him as well. With the downturn of the economy I have heard many tales how SD's feel sorry for a potential SB and send money before even meeting and having an arrangement. My advice to those SD's DO NOT DO THAT!!! and RUN. It is those wannabees who give sugars a bad name everywhere.
For someone who is exploring this life style ask yourself what you have to bring to the table and if it will affect how you view yourself? If you are just looking for a fast buck... join an escort service as real sugars are not escorts we are the complete package and we go the extra lengths to look good. Eat healthy, stay hydrated, work out, pay close attention to our skin, hair, nails, feet, and how we dress. We know how to look a million bucks even if we don't have much money.. and we know how to treat our men. Not everyone can be a sugar.
Why a sugar arrangement? Each of us have different reasons for exploring the sugar world and the misconception about greed does not apply to everyone. For some it is about goals they want to meet.. starting their own business.. college tuition .. help with books or software.. living expenses.. something they are saving for. For others it is about clothes, gifts, saving in a hard economy or just making ends meet and not going under. For some experience Sugars it is all about the excitement of the sugar relationship, getting to experience things they would not have the opportunity to do otherwise, going to exotic places and being a companion, friend and lover. A sugar arrangement also opens up many doors at times.. you can learn from the relationship where you are mentored.. learn about investments.. how to meet and reach your goals. For me I have found that a sugar arrangement can be very sweet.. better than chocolate. ;)
What it takes to be a Sugar Babe?
Some will tell you it takes tenacity, a tough skin, the ability to deal with rejection, the ability to role play. Others will say it takes skill to separate your real life from the sugar life, having the ability to spot a fake, and the ability to know when to say pass. To some extent it takes all these things but I have learned through time that the most important element to bring to the table is your honest self. Always be true to yourself and understand what you are getting into, gifts and financial help is wonderful but we sugars have our end to hold up as well. We need to learn right from the beginning what is expected from us and what are expectations are as well. Some Sugar Daddies have certain kinks and we need to ask questions that let us know if we are going to be comfortable in this type of situation, are we comfortable traveling immediately to foreign countries, going to swingers clubs if this is his kink? Being a Sugar takes courage to ask some difficult questions, honesty to allow the SD to feel connected to us. The arrangement is about finding someone who cares about our well-being and wants to help us.. to do this we need to show who we are to some extent and not put on airs or claim we know things that we don't. At times for me being a Sugar Babe is being able to face rejection gracefully, always keep open communication, be willing to grow and explore, be a best friend at times, a confidante, a lover, be discreet in public and wild cat behind clothes doors and in doing all this always be true to myself and be myself.
When to accept an arrangement: Never accept an arrangement that does not feel right.. do not settle as those types of arrangements never last long! If you are not comfortable dating a married SD simply do not agree to even meet those.. lately I have been contemplating why both sexes have the feeling that the other is so fake. It is because we do not bring our authentic self into the arrangement.. both sides sometimes present a facade that is not who they are. They pretend to have more than they do, use outdated pictures and basically are just curiosity seekers who this is a game to. Some are simply picture collectors and lately I came to the conclusion that the pictures I put on my profile will be what they will see until the first meeting. I am focused on a SD who wants more than just sex.. he wants to feel a connection and knows that building that bond makes me want to pamper and spoil him as well. With the downturn of the economy I have heard many tales how SD's feel sorry for a potential SB and send money before even meeting and having an arrangement. My advice to those SD's DO NOT DO THAT!!! and RUN. It is those wannabees who give sugars a bad name everywhere.
For someone who is exploring this life style ask yourself what you have to bring to the table and if it will affect how you view yourself? If you are just looking for a fast buck... join an escort service as real sugars are not escorts we are the complete package and we go the extra lengths to look good. Eat healthy, stay hydrated, work out, pay close attention to our skin, hair, nails, feet, and how we dress. We know how to look a million bucks even if we don't have much money.. and we know how to treat our men. Not everyone can be a sugar.
Say what you mean..Mean what you say!
In the sugar world situations happen that often catch us off guard yet it is how we deal with these situations that show just what type of person we are. We often see people go Poof once an arrangement is agreed upon or even when they schedule a meet. I wonder if it is simply that they do not know what they are agreeing to or simply pretenders and wannabes without the means to follow through. Sugar is more than just having sex, it is about intimacy and sharing.. mutual enjoyment.. many SD's are mentors and enjoy assisting someone. There are a lot of real SD's out there and yet they are so hard to find.
This evening I went to meet a Pot for drinks, he was charming and a true gentleman in every sense of the word but was new to the sugar world and thought he could just go get a hotel room and try me out as if I was a piece of exercise equipment to try for 30 days before making up his mind. I asked him if he had read the blogs or the articles to help him understand what the sugar arrangement is all about and he informed me yes.. I am for sale and he might buy me if I lower my price..lol.. well it did not take me long to set him straight on thought. Not once did he get obnoxious or rude, just stated what his impression was.. apologized for the misunderstanding and asked me how he could get a greater understanding of what to do and how to do it. When I got home I sent him some links to various articles and video messages to help a new sugar daddy if that is what he really wants to do and be. Does he have the financial means to be a SD.. I am not even sure but it is not my place to judge.
I bring all this up as often we do not think about the wasted time involved in the search when we run across people who are more or less just lookers.. lurkers.. or fakes. It takes time to get ready, it cost money to get from point A to point B, and after a while it gets discouraging. I became a sugar as a means to my goal of an education, not to simply be a piece of meat but have endured my share of disappointments and rudeness at times. I keep hearing you have to have a thick skin, and yet that is one thing I haven't really developed. When I wrote my profile I did it with thought, being as honest as I possibly could, trying hard to stay true to myself and let myself show. Through this process online, I have learned that few people return that honesty.. or even read much of the profile.. they focus on the pictures and yet if you leave out a picture you seldom get a response. I am sure my location is also a draw back even though I am more than willing to travel.
Say what you mean.. Mean what you say! is the advice I gave this Pot tonight.. do not lead anyone on and make sure you know what you can afford and if the profile states a certain amount that is needed.. and it is out of your range search for someone who you can afford but do not lead people on. Maybe if one person gets that message then one SB may have one less disappointment in their search. I doubt it did any good but it sure felt good finally speaking out as at time I feel I am just wasting my time and instead just need to try to work two more jobs so I can stay in school..lol.. and the hunt still continues.
This evening I went to meet a Pot for drinks, he was charming and a true gentleman in every sense of the word but was new to the sugar world and thought he could just go get a hotel room and try me out as if I was a piece of exercise equipment to try for 30 days before making up his mind. I asked him if he had read the blogs or the articles to help him understand what the sugar arrangement is all about and he informed me yes.. I am for sale and he might buy me if I lower my price..lol.. well it did not take me long to set him straight on thought. Not once did he get obnoxious or rude, just stated what his impression was.. apologized for the misunderstanding and asked me how he could get a greater understanding of what to do and how to do it. When I got home I sent him some links to various articles and video messages to help a new sugar daddy if that is what he really wants to do and be. Does he have the financial means to be a SD.. I am not even sure but it is not my place to judge.
I bring all this up as often we do not think about the wasted time involved in the search when we run across people who are more or less just lookers.. lurkers.. or fakes. It takes time to get ready, it cost money to get from point A to point B, and after a while it gets discouraging. I became a sugar as a means to my goal of an education, not to simply be a piece of meat but have endured my share of disappointments and rudeness at times. I keep hearing you have to have a thick skin, and yet that is one thing I haven't really developed. When I wrote my profile I did it with thought, being as honest as I possibly could, trying hard to stay true to myself and let myself show. Through this process online, I have learned that few people return that honesty.. or even read much of the profile.. they focus on the pictures and yet if you leave out a picture you seldom get a response. I am sure my location is also a draw back even though I am more than willing to travel.
Say what you mean.. Mean what you say! is the advice I gave this Pot tonight.. do not lead anyone on and make sure you know what you can afford and if the profile states a certain amount that is needed.. and it is out of your range search for someone who you can afford but do not lead people on. Maybe if one person gets that message then one SB may have one less disappointment in their search. I doubt it did any good but it sure felt good finally speaking out as at time I feel I am just wasting my time and instead just need to try to work two more jobs so I can stay in school..lol.. and the hunt still continues.
The Screening Process:Getting it Right Part 3
My second round of questions during the screening process focuses on getting a real feeling for the person. There are many types of sugar daddies but I am only interested in a selective group that also wants to establish a level of intimacy , develop trust and friendship to some degree and one who also needs to have chemistry on both sides. My questions are designed to focus on this group, I would like to point out that as you determine what type of sugar arrangement you seek, your questions should help you to determine if this Pot is looking for the same type of arrangement as you. For example I do not meet P4P types as I am not interested in this type of arrangement and if I quickly determine this, I save time and energy in the search process.
Questions:
Is there something that stood out about me that brought you to the decision to contact me? ( if the answer is picture and nothing more.. I give it some thought)
What qualities do you search for in real life with a female companion and how do you feel it has changed if any in your search for a SB?
Can you describe your ideal SB and what your vision of a good sugar arrangement might be? ( I look for number of meets here, if he simply just list sexual stuff or is looking for substance as well)
How do you feel people who know you well would describe you? ( I added this question recently and was surprised at the answers I have gotten from the pompous to the very humble and honest answers. This is a great way to learn more ..just watch out for I statements like I am this and I am that.. as we are not asking him for his opinion about himself but instead his opinion of how he thinks others perceive him.)
Which of the following statements describes you? Easy to get along with< Laid Back< Semi Controlling, Controlling, Dominant, Submissive, a tad difficult?
What type of sugar daddy would you describe yourself as? Gifting, allowance, P4P, Travel, combination or other and please explain.
In each round of questions I pay attention to certain clues and facts:
Have they asked me questions in return? I have learned that when I am asked no questions at all or only ones that are all sexually oriented that they are usually not as selective as I am.. not interested in chemistry or mutual connection and just want to get laid.
Often a pot will go poof on second set of questions.. this is fine by me as I do not want to waste a lot of time meeting the wrong ones.. and focus on the ones of quality .
Once I have reviewed all the answers I ask if there is anything they would like to know about me that we have not discussed and suggest we do this through a phone call. I have added skype calls when I feel I may be harboring doubts about a pot's sincerity. However, I do not do in any form or manner phone sex.. online cam sex.. I am not looking to be someones call girl or escort.. and often find this brings up that suggestion.. so use caution. It does give us the opportunity to see how someone looks in real time.
After a couple phone conversations I move on or suggest a meet if he has not. For me the search is about finding the one who you can be comfortable with for an arrangement.. and though it may sound harsh.. it is important to have some common ground and chemistry is essential.
What questions do you ask and how detailed do you like the answers to be? I have on occasion asked what he felt a productive first and second meet should be like? Even drawing a Pot out to paint a picture of what, where, etc. and this often has brought me to the decision to not waste time meeting.. especially when they suggest things like.. after dinner maybe we can sit in my car and do a little heavy petting....NEXT..lol...
Coming The Final Part of my screening process and paying attention to the clues we do not always see.
Questions:
Is there something that stood out about me that brought you to the decision to contact me? ( if the answer is picture and nothing more.. I give it some thought)
What qualities do you search for in real life with a female companion and how do you feel it has changed if any in your search for a SB?
Can you describe your ideal SB and what your vision of a good sugar arrangement might be? ( I look for number of meets here, if he simply just list sexual stuff or is looking for substance as well)
How do you feel people who know you well would describe you? ( I added this question recently and was surprised at the answers I have gotten from the pompous to the very humble and honest answers. This is a great way to learn more ..just watch out for I statements like I am this and I am that.. as we are not asking him for his opinion about himself but instead his opinion of how he thinks others perceive him.)
Which of the following statements describes you? Easy to get along with< Laid Back< Semi Controlling, Controlling, Dominant, Submissive, a tad difficult?
What type of sugar daddy would you describe yourself as? Gifting, allowance, P4P, Travel, combination or other and please explain.
In each round of questions I pay attention to certain clues and facts:
Have they asked me questions in return? I have learned that when I am asked no questions at all or only ones that are all sexually oriented that they are usually not as selective as I am.. not interested in chemistry or mutual connection and just want to get laid.
Often a pot will go poof on second set of questions.. this is fine by me as I do not want to waste a lot of time meeting the wrong ones.. and focus on the ones of quality .
Once I have reviewed all the answers I ask if there is anything they would like to know about me that we have not discussed and suggest we do this through a phone call. I have added skype calls when I feel I may be harboring doubts about a pot's sincerity. However, I do not do in any form or manner phone sex.. online cam sex.. I am not looking to be someones call girl or escort.. and often find this brings up that suggestion.. so use caution. It does give us the opportunity to see how someone looks in real time.
After a couple phone conversations I move on or suggest a meet if he has not. For me the search is about finding the one who you can be comfortable with for an arrangement.. and though it may sound harsh.. it is important to have some common ground and chemistry is essential.
What questions do you ask and how detailed do you like the answers to be? I have on occasion asked what he felt a productive first and second meet should be like? Even drawing a Pot out to paint a picture of what, where, etc. and this often has brought me to the decision to not waste time meeting.. especially when they suggest things like.. after dinner maybe we can sit in my car and do a little heavy petting....NEXT..lol...
Coming The Final Part of my screening process and paying attention to the clues we do not always see.
Sugar by Chance
My first exploration into the sugar world was by chance not by design. It is funny that as I look back I did not even realize I was a sugar babe. I met someone at an airport.. and the chemistry was hot.. he was twice my age and we exchanged phone numbers. Within a week we were talking on the phone.. but his age was in the back of my mind. After talking for over a month I agree to see him and he flew me out for a weekend. I was fascinated with his knowledge, loved his guidance and quickly started seeing him on the weekends. I still remember him telling me he wanted to take care of me and make life easier for me and each month he would provide me with financial assistance to help me out.
After close to a year of this.. one day one of my friends informed me I was nothing but a glorified call girl as I was at his beck and call... that did not bother me as I loved the time we shared.. chemistry was off the scale.. and I felt like had the opportunity to explore my own sensuality and sexuality. For me it was such an empowering experience and one that last for quite some time. Our arrangement gave me the freedom to pursue my own dreams and education.. for which I am so grateful. I learned so much from him as a mentor, got to travel to many places that I would not have seen.. but it was those quiet alone times that I appreciated the most. When our arrangement finally ended .. it was all good and we are still friends today to many degrees. What I learned was what an amazing experience this was and how less complicated it was for me from traditional dating.. but in the end he was my Sugar Daddy and I his Sugar Babe.. earlier this year as I was thinking back I thought about this experience and the possibilities of exploring the sugar world online. That led me to a website with the idea of seeking another arrangement.. in the online world I find it harder as we use profiles... people can write anything and it takes time to discover who is real and who is not.
It is also hard to create a profile that reflects who I am and what I have to offer.. but I have learned as I read others profiles to look for signs that might tell me if that person is being real or fake. I do not think being a sugar is for everyone, and each of us has our own reason for doing things.. I love a world that is sugar coated.. one where you can truly let your hair down.. not feel inhibited .. and enjoy everything the other person has to offer.. being able to learn from his experience.. to often travel to some magical places.. and the meetings just can get so intense which is something I never found in traditional dating. In my next post I will focus on the search and what I have learned about looking for the right arrangement and person for me.
After close to a year of this.. one day one of my friends informed me I was nothing but a glorified call girl as I was at his beck and call... that did not bother me as I loved the time we shared.. chemistry was off the scale.. and I felt like had the opportunity to explore my own sensuality and sexuality. For me it was such an empowering experience and one that last for quite some time. Our arrangement gave me the freedom to pursue my own dreams and education.. for which I am so grateful. I learned so much from him as a mentor, got to travel to many places that I would not have seen.. but it was those quiet alone times that I appreciated the most. When our arrangement finally ended .. it was all good and we are still friends today to many degrees. What I learned was what an amazing experience this was and how less complicated it was for me from traditional dating.. but in the end he was my Sugar Daddy and I his Sugar Babe.. earlier this year as I was thinking back I thought about this experience and the possibilities of exploring the sugar world online. That led me to a website with the idea of seeking another arrangement.. in the online world I find it harder as we use profiles... people can write anything and it takes time to discover who is real and who is not.
It is also hard to create a profile that reflects who I am and what I have to offer.. but I have learned as I read others profiles to look for signs that might tell me if that person is being real or fake. I do not think being a sugar is for everyone, and each of us has our own reason for doing things.. I love a world that is sugar coated.. one where you can truly let your hair down.. not feel inhibited .. and enjoy everything the other person has to offer.. being able to learn from his experience.. to often travel to some magical places.. and the meetings just can get so intense which is something I never found in traditional dating. In my next post I will focus on the search and what I have learned about looking for the right arrangement and person for me.
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