Quality versus Quanity: Part 1

Recently while reading blogs I have noticed some comments regarding the quality available in the Sugar World and how this seems to be sadly lacking!  I started contemplating this as I have had my share of contacts from fakes, pranksters and flat out kinky liars which I will explain later.  I have changed my screening process, and now I am focusing on changing my profile but not my expectations.  Having been in wonderful sugar arrangements before with exceptional S.D.'s  I realize that in the past I have had the cream of the crop. Always being treated with dignity and respect... I did not realize when I started my new search how much the landscape in the Sugar World was changing.  Like in real life we also must change with the times but I refuse to sacrifice my principles or expectations for something that would be sadly lacking!  So let me set the stage for this lengthy exploration and what I am now learning.

In former sugar relationships, I felt pampered and always trusted my former S.D.'s without hesitation which happens with time.  Each came with their own unique intriguing personalities and genuinely cared about my well being and in turn I cared about their well being making it easy to pamper and spoil them as well.  I learned through these experiences that a good sugar arrangement for me was more than dollars and cents.  It involved being honest, discreet when necessary, having good communication skills to avoid unwanted drama, carrying oneself with dignity and grace, enjoying laughter, hot passionate quiet moments together, being open to trying new things, positions, and mutual trust to share and try each others fantasies.  This type of arrangement required me to be adaptable and often going the extra mile to cater to by S.D. which I did gratefully and gladly.  I discovered so much about my own sensuality and sexuality ...that I realized just how good sugar sessions are.. hot.. sometimes wild.. sometimes romantic and so very satisfying.  I was the lucky one.. each of my former S.D.'s are still friends today and I value their advice and wisdom.  I tried a brief stint of traditional dating which left me completely flat after my last arrangement ended.  Men my own age just do so little for me and men twice my age which I am attracted to seldom look my way in Real Life Situations.. unless they are looking for a S.B. ;).

Understanding exactly what I am searching for I set my sights on having another sugar arrangement but in my area the gene pool is sadly lacking.. so I expanded my search thinking I would find QUALITY by doing so.  What I am learning is that my search is a work in progress.. for sure ;).  In this economy there are people looking to take advantage.. and I am know realizing that my profile had given clues to the fakes that may be able to take advantage of my vulnerabilities and that I needed to look hard at how much I was giving away about myself.. for example not being in any relationship in real life... living alone.. the flexibility of my schedule and only asking for assistance and accepting it on the months that are hard for me to get through while in school.  My frank honesty actually opened the doors to some of the bizarre contacts I have gotten.  As I have talked to other S.B.'s whom I have made friends with I realized we all have similar stories and are all asking the same questions.. where are the quality S.D.'s.  The flip side to this question is that many S.D.'s are questioning where the quality S.B.'s are!  A very wise Guru looked at my profile and gave me some advice which I appreciate and value the wisdom of his words.. so I have been adjusting it and realized it was okay in my profile to post what I will not accept which includes P4P.  A well written profile is key but a little mystery is okay too.. I realized I do not need to toot my own horn but instead use my artistic side to paint a picture with words without giving too much away initially.. remove hints of living alone etc.  let my self show and be genuine but at the same time providing myself more anonymity.  Even investing now in a throw away phone to give that number out instead of my real phones that lead right back to my home address. ;)

So what brought all this on?  Hm-mm lets see.. paying for trips to meet a Pot Fake S.D. who promised to reimburse for the trip and did not... paying for an expensive dinner for another Pot S.D. when he created a scene...lol... a series of emails, text and a phone call from one that had not even gotten to the meet stage yet who got his rocks off by scaring me and even told me after he did so that he does it all the time and masturbates when he finally gets the girls number to make her think he actually knows her, where she lives.. and has no intentions of ever meeting or entering an arrangement.  He learns about them by lurking in blogs or on face-book.. yes social network sites.  At one point took over one month of emailing and talking on the phone with one Pot.. to learn when meeting him that he had kinks and wanted to dress his S.B. and send her down to a bar to watch her pick up a stranger.. go screw him in their hotel room and then join back up with him so he could taste the left overs and get all the details and then compare it to his technique.  He was into things like fisting.. rough play and so on... so needless to say in my search I have gotten very discouraged.


Not being in an relationship has left me oversexed .. and really wanting to find that quality S.D.  the kind that I know so well , who understands what a traditional sugar relationship is really about and appreciates a Sugar Babe who pampers back.. and gives him all her attention when they are together... one who is low maintenance , loyal, respectful, easy to talk to, open and honest, and one who avoids bringing drama into the arrangement.  It is funny but it seems that the genuine quality S.D.'s that I seek are more intrigued with the drama filled S.B.'s who have drug problems..lol.. so I continue to search and question what I am doing wrong that is attracting all the losers.  I just had new pictures taken of me in outdoor and indoor settings that give nothing away except a sweet smile and if they want more pictures they will have to ask for them and only after I have asked a few questions of my own.  I am getting a lot more contacts in the past month then in the past yet Quantity means nothing in the scheme of things when there is no quality in the gene pool.  Have you ran into similar situations?
In my next part I will share the story of Mr. Bobblehead and how that experience has motivated me to not give up on quest.  I call him Bobblehead for a reason which I will soon reveal.. true story but a definite Ouch! for many..;)  Also my list of desirable traits that separate a Pot SD from the rest and put him in my quality category.