I am addressing an issue that a few people have clicked on my email link and sent some interesting emails to me and though I appreciate your discretion I feel strongly now about addressing this on my blog to not contribute to any more drama and also give you food for thought.
Tin Eye located at www.tineye.com is a reverse image service on the internet where you can copy a picture location and paste into the URL search. They have millions of scanned images that are in their data base that is done through a web crawler that matches pixels and other factors instead of key words. Even if you are using your own image your picture will often track back to the person who has taken the picture.. so do you have the rights to use this picture? I have learned today the answer is yes and no.. if it has been uploaded to for example an amateur photo site the licensing of this picture will track back to the person who first uploaded it. You must request written permission to use this photo and also give credit to the person who took this picture. Having said all this.. I am now learning even if you have taken a photograph sitting in front of your web cam and have posted it on the internet for example in your facebook profile.. and someone grabs the image and actually uses it on the web for example in one of many data bases that get scanned for images the licensing of this photo becomes the property of that person who uploaded it as this is where the image tracks back too.. I looked at dates knowing there is no way that someone could have a sooner date and time then me as it was taken on my computer cam.. but it opens up the door to how I ask for permission for something I have taken my self and have no rights to as I did not copyright my picture nor did I originally post it on a data base that images are scanned daily from. I do not have the answers.. but I have learned another lesson, and this is to make sure that my pictures track back to me or that I get the expressed permission to use my likeness.
I took post off and pictures of me while I do just that.. and have so far been emailed one permission and also verification that it is me in the picture. When someone takes your picture and uploads it where it tracks back there are also things they can do which includes your real name in the tags.. and so forth but do you want a lot of personal information of you out there? We live in a world where we want to check up on each other but we also need to use some reasoning. I urge all of you to check out your own pictures and understand if you run into track backs that lead to other people this does not mean your identity is being stolen or that you are fake but simply that the person who took a picture is where it leads..also if you discover as I have that even a picture you took yourself from your computer leads to someone else it is because you have put it out there unprotected where they could capture it. I like the Tin Eye site and think it is a great tool to help you determine certain things but just remember that often it is not what you may think. I will shortly be restoring my post and pictures with attachments of documents for written permission and contact info to verify this of each picture in question. I am sorry to even have to address this on my blog but I take pride in who I am and felt under attack to some extent and I even know that the person who addressed the issue that this was not her intention.. and it is a valid point that she makes.. as various pics track back to different locations all the same person in each picture.. I know this because it is me.. if anyone still has doubts I am on skype and more than happy to do skype calls to verify my identity.. I often have used skype in the past when I had doubts about a pot SD and that either removed my doubts or proved I was right in doubting. So I urge you to think critically when looking into someones background, pictures, profiles and when in doubt just simply ask to skype.. or ask for proof as those that are real should not have a problem with addressing the issue and will probably be relieved to clear up your doubts.
Tarnish Halo
When we enter the sugar bowl we are often unprepared and at one point everyone is a newbie.. and slowly we learn how to negotiate an arrangement in the sugar world. We often meet lots of fakes and just when we think we have heard everything and try to learn from the mistakes we have made.. some how ones slips through that tops everything we have seen so far. I am usually a very patient person and actually believe in Karma that what you put out comes back to you.. but lately I have had my doubts.. as the few bumps in the road I have ran into I have dealt with them being true to myself and keeping my dignity and sweet spirit through out. So tonight I get a phone call on my sugar phone but I did not recognize the number and for someone to be calling it I assume I gave this person the number.
I answer and he says hello how have you been sugar.. I did not recognize the voice but he called me sugar so automatically I think it is someone who I had been messaging that had not gotten around to calling me until now. I tell him I am doing well ask him how he has been.. He tells me good.. wants to know if he is calling me at a bad time. Of course I tell him no.. desperately trying to rack my brain to determine who I am talking too. He tells me he has been very busy lately but he had something very exciting to share with me.. so I start thinking he must have just made an arrangement with someone else and giving me a courtesy call.. I mean like what else would it be. So I tell him well tell me.. but before you do could you please refresh my memory on who you are can you give me your profile number??
He was quiet for a second and then said oh you mean my account number.. and gave me a 6 digit number.. so I am booting up my computer to look it up not really thinking about the fact that he said account number so he starts telling me this story about this sweet little gal with the face of angel.. and I am thinking OMG he is actually going to go into details about his new sugar babe.. still waiting on computer to load.. so I try to stall him.. asking him why he feels he needs to tell me about this. He starts laughing and told me when he finishes I will understand..so he launches back into this story about Mary with the face of an angel.. and how she was seeing this guy but they had not had sex but shortly after seeing this guy she became pregnant.. I started laughing saying that is why all women should insist on rain coats.. no laughter from him just silence.. and at this point I am logging into the site where my profile is and going to search my profile number to see if I remember this person but when I entered the number I got nothing.. so now I am confused.. and he is asking me how do I not know this happened in the winter where a flimsy rain coat would not be much protection WTF.. OMG now I am getting more confused.. and I interrupt telling him I have no idea who I am talking to and I entered his number but could not pull up his profile is he sure he gave me the correct number.. again he says you mean my account.. your profile on SA.. what is SA.. OMG who am I talking too? So I just spit it out there and said the only ones who have my sugar phone number are potential sugar daddies and you have my number but for the life of me I have no idea who you are? A very shocked voice on the other end says is this Rebecca? I said not and you are not a sugar daddy are you?.. he informs me NO and maybe I need to hear the end of his story and introduces himself as a Pastor from St. Micheals...OMG.. ouch.. now after feeling like I just confessed or something I patiently let him finish story realizing at that point he was telling the story of Mother Mary...and when he finished he was correlating the no room at the Inn with the amount of people in the area that are losing their homes in this economy and was looking for volunteers and donations to help the homeless as the weather is turning cold and their shelter has many needs..Feeling very unsure of myself I offer help and now you know he has to figure out that my extra money is coming from a sugar daddy..lol.. and he graciously thanks me.. tells me where to send the check and hangs up after he takes my information.. Tonight my halo which I keep polished and sparkling feels a little tarnished tonight. The moral of my story is never take for granted that just because someone is calling you on your sugar phone that it has anything to do with sugar..lol.. and since when do associate pastors make the calls themselves?
Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation when you are searching and due to the fact that you are speaking with more than one potential or have given out your phone number to more than one person that you struggle to figure out who you are talking to? In the future I will not take it for granted that just because that phone rings that it has anything to do with sugar dating.. the kicker is he was actually calling Rebecca who I assume has donated before and either miscalled the number or that is who had the number before me as I just recently got this disposable phone for sugar purposes last month so I would not be giving out my personal one. Either way it all happens for a reason and I started thinking about the holidays and how many people would be going without if it were not for organizations like this so I am actually glad I got the call and donated.. and plan to call there in the morning and see what else I can do to help.. yes volunteer.. if they allow angels with tarnished halos to help. ;) We often get so caught up in the sugar world of pampering and being pampered that is easy to forget all those who are suffering and going without during the holidays so I challenge everyone who reads this blog to think about making some strangers life a little sweeter this year and donate to one of your local shelters or charities that help provide food or gifts for children during the holiday season.
I answer and he says hello how have you been sugar.. I did not recognize the voice but he called me sugar so automatically I think it is someone who I had been messaging that had not gotten around to calling me until now. I tell him I am doing well ask him how he has been.. He tells me good.. wants to know if he is calling me at a bad time. Of course I tell him no.. desperately trying to rack my brain to determine who I am talking too. He tells me he has been very busy lately but he had something very exciting to share with me.. so I start thinking he must have just made an arrangement with someone else and giving me a courtesy call.. I mean like what else would it be. So I tell him well tell me.. but before you do could you please refresh my memory on who you are can you give me your profile number??
He was quiet for a second and then said oh you mean my account number.. and gave me a 6 digit number.. so I am booting up my computer to look it up not really thinking about the fact that he said account number so he starts telling me this story about this sweet little gal with the face of angel.. and I am thinking OMG he is actually going to go into details about his new sugar babe.. still waiting on computer to load.. so I try to stall him.. asking him why he feels he needs to tell me about this. He starts laughing and told me when he finishes I will understand..so he launches back into this story about Mary with the face of an angel.. and how she was seeing this guy but they had not had sex but shortly after seeing this guy she became pregnant.. I started laughing saying that is why all women should insist on rain coats.. no laughter from him just silence.. and at this point I am logging into the site where my profile is and going to search my profile number to see if I remember this person but when I entered the number I got nothing.. so now I am confused.. and he is asking me how do I not know this happened in the winter where a flimsy rain coat would not be much protection WTF.. OMG now I am getting more confused.. and I interrupt telling him I have no idea who I am talking to and I entered his number but could not pull up his profile is he sure he gave me the correct number.. again he says you mean my account.. your profile on SA.. what is SA.. OMG who am I talking too? So I just spit it out there and said the only ones who have my sugar phone number are potential sugar daddies and you have my number but for the life of me I have no idea who you are? A very shocked voice on the other end says is this Rebecca? I said not and you are not a sugar daddy are you?.. he informs me NO and maybe I need to hear the end of his story and introduces himself as a Pastor from St. Micheals...OMG.. ouch.. now after feeling like I just confessed or something I patiently let him finish story realizing at that point he was telling the story of Mother Mary...and when he finished he was correlating the no room at the Inn with the amount of people in the area that are losing their homes in this economy and was looking for volunteers and donations to help the homeless as the weather is turning cold and their shelter has many needs..Feeling very unsure of myself I offer help and now you know he has to figure out that my extra money is coming from a sugar daddy..lol.. and he graciously thanks me.. tells me where to send the check and hangs up after he takes my information.. Tonight my halo which I keep polished and sparkling feels a little tarnished tonight. The moral of my story is never take for granted that just because someone is calling you on your sugar phone that it has anything to do with sugar..lol.. and since when do associate pastors make the calls themselves?
Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation when you are searching and due to the fact that you are speaking with more than one potential or have given out your phone number to more than one person that you struggle to figure out who you are talking to? In the future I will not take it for granted that just because that phone rings that it has anything to do with sugar dating.. the kicker is he was actually calling Rebecca who I assume has donated before and either miscalled the number or that is who had the number before me as I just recently got this disposable phone for sugar purposes last month so I would not be giving out my personal one. Either way it all happens for a reason and I started thinking about the holidays and how many people would be going without if it were not for organizations like this so I am actually glad I got the call and donated.. and plan to call there in the morning and see what else I can do to help.. yes volunteer.. if they allow angels with tarnished halos to help. ;) We often get so caught up in the sugar world of pampering and being pampered that is easy to forget all those who are suffering and going without during the holidays so I challenge everyone who reads this blog to think about making some strangers life a little sweeter this year and donate to one of your local shelters or charities that help provide food or gifts for children during the holiday season.
Links and Information Every SB should have!
I started a second blog that is specifically designed to give helpful information for new sugar babes. This is a work in progress and if anyone would like to contribute to help new babes have the 411 to avoid so many of the hazards that we have endured please feel free to contact me. The new blog web address is:
http://thesugar411.blogspot.com/ and has pages regarding the screening process, safety, types of arrangements, how to have the arrangement talk.. how to be specific about your needs including talking about when you will receive your allowance each month and how. It also covers the importance of knowing why you want to be a sugar and questions to ask yourself.
I will be covering a page on travel and safety regarding traveling to meet a SD.. if there are sections that someone feels should be added or would like to add please contact me. Thank You
http://thesugar411.blogspot.com/ and has pages regarding the screening process, safety, types of arrangements, how to have the arrangement talk.. how to be specific about your needs including talking about when you will receive your allowance each month and how. It also covers the importance of knowing why you want to be a sugar and questions to ask yourself.
I will be covering a page on travel and safety regarding traveling to meet a SD.. if there are sections that someone feels should be added or would like to add please contact me. Thank You
When a flicker becomes a flame!
Hello Sugar Sisters and SD's
Most of you who read my blog know I recently changed lots of things about my search process and evening choosing an SD who could not offer me as much financial support as I needed but I felt that his quality character was equally important. Last night I had a date with him which is the last time I will see him this year.. and that little flicker that I saw in his character turned into a giant flame. He came bearing gifts and not the traditional stuff you expect out of your SD. No shoes, jewelery, or lingerie. So you are wondering what gives?
As you know I am in school and working hard but for my chosen field it requires much added expense in the cost of materials that I need for painting and sculpting. He made three trips to his SUV which was loaded with so many blessing. Slabs of various clays, canvas, and other supplies I was running dangerously low on.. I just had an installation art show which was a success but have my big show that showcases my talents next year and still have not got all the required pieces ready for it. I was so humbled by this act of kindness and appreciation. It simply validated what I already had realized about this exceptional SD and yes girls, sometimes it is those gifts that move us closer to our goals that count more than a trinket.
So last night I spent an amazing evening wrapped up in the arms of my SD.. grateful I gave him the chance and that little flicker burned hotly throughout the night into a giant flame that could not be extinguished. I did not get any sleep..lol.. but I left this morning feeling so very satisfied in every way. And the moral to what I am sharing is simple.. when we create a bond with an SD based on understanding, trust and honesty, and daring to be humble and vulnerable to let them see who we really are.. they will often develop a mutual concern for us and find ways to make sure our lives our easier. As for the supplies.. this is one of the things I had my allowance earmarked for and have already gotten the allowance to take care of me through the end of the year.. this was extra so when I factor the cost of the supplies he brought which were substantial it moved me to the category of assistance I was seeking in the first place.
With his schedule we are not to see each other again until January.. but he asked me if he could get back here for one day in Dec. if I would consider seeing him.. OH Yes!!! that was my answer without hesitation. It is often hard to find the time during the holiday season but last night was so sweet and now I am so grateful that I accepted his arrangement. So was my search for quality worth it... I think so but time will tell as this is still a new arrangement. What I have learned in this journey is to just be me, take the time to know a Pot before meeting him, make sure you know who the person is and take the time to learn enough about him to feel comfortable and establish an element of trust. There were a few contacts who tried to rush me and even one who wanted a free tryout.. I am not a tryout kind of girl neither free or paid. I came into this with the goal to have a sugar relationship like I have had in the past, one that feels like you are with your best friend at times, one that has smoking passion and will not fall to the 3 month curse.
What I have found is a mutually beneficial sugar arrangement that is already growing in trust with each date and although there are times that I will have to go for 6 to 8 weeks without seeing him as at this time I can not travel overseas at this stage of my finishing school due to art exhibits etc. , I ended up with exactly what I set out to find. Sure I had lots of bumps along the way and I always said that it would just make the sugar arrangement I chose for myself at some point to be all the sweeter...and that statement rings so true now. So is taking the time to find the right arrangement for you worth it? I can only speak for myself but I think so.
Most of you who read my blog know I recently changed lots of things about my search process and evening choosing an SD who could not offer me as much financial support as I needed but I felt that his quality character was equally important. Last night I had a date with him which is the last time I will see him this year.. and that little flicker that I saw in his character turned into a giant flame. He came bearing gifts and not the traditional stuff you expect out of your SD. No shoes, jewelery, or lingerie. So you are wondering what gives?
As you know I am in school and working hard but for my chosen field it requires much added expense in the cost of materials that I need for painting and sculpting. He made three trips to his SUV which was loaded with so many blessing. Slabs of various clays, canvas, and other supplies I was running dangerously low on.. I just had an installation art show which was a success but have my big show that showcases my talents next year and still have not got all the required pieces ready for it. I was so humbled by this act of kindness and appreciation. It simply validated what I already had realized about this exceptional SD and yes girls, sometimes it is those gifts that move us closer to our goals that count more than a trinket.
So last night I spent an amazing evening wrapped up in the arms of my SD.. grateful I gave him the chance and that little flicker burned hotly throughout the night into a giant flame that could not be extinguished. I did not get any sleep..lol.. but I left this morning feeling so very satisfied in every way. And the moral to what I am sharing is simple.. when we create a bond with an SD based on understanding, trust and honesty, and daring to be humble and vulnerable to let them see who we really are.. they will often develop a mutual concern for us and find ways to make sure our lives our easier. As for the supplies.. this is one of the things I had my allowance earmarked for and have already gotten the allowance to take care of me through the end of the year.. this was extra so when I factor the cost of the supplies he brought which were substantial it moved me to the category of assistance I was seeking in the first place.
With his schedule we are not to see each other again until January.. but he asked me if he could get back here for one day in Dec. if I would consider seeing him.. OH Yes!!! that was my answer without hesitation. It is often hard to find the time during the holiday season but last night was so sweet and now I am so grateful that I accepted his arrangement. So was my search for quality worth it... I think so but time will tell as this is still a new arrangement. What I have learned in this journey is to just be me, take the time to know a Pot before meeting him, make sure you know who the person is and take the time to learn enough about him to feel comfortable and establish an element of trust. There were a few contacts who tried to rush me and even one who wanted a free tryout.. I am not a tryout kind of girl neither free or paid. I came into this with the goal to have a sugar relationship like I have had in the past, one that feels like you are with your best friend at times, one that has smoking passion and will not fall to the 3 month curse.
What I have found is a mutually beneficial sugar arrangement that is already growing in trust with each date and although there are times that I will have to go for 6 to 8 weeks without seeing him as at this time I can not travel overseas at this stage of my finishing school due to art exhibits etc. , I ended up with exactly what I set out to find. Sure I had lots of bumps along the way and I always said that it would just make the sugar arrangement I chose for myself at some point to be all the sweeter...and that statement rings so true now. So is taking the time to find the right arrangement for you worth it? I can only speak for myself but I think so.
Quality versus Quantity: Final Chapter
As I transitioned meeting pot SD's from real life events to searching in the online world using the amazing technology that we are blessed with, I have learned that it is so much harder in the online format. We do not initially have the opportunity to look in a pot's eyes or observe body language that is often a key way to discovering a person's truthfulness. We are often faced with quantity in contacts that lack quality and oh it is so frustrating. I purposely listed a link to definitions for quality as there is one thing that sticks out in the definition:
- any of the features that make something what it is; characteristic element; attribute
- basic nature; character; kind
- the degree of excellence which a thing possesses
- excellence; superiorityThe first four all refer to something that is superior.. a cut above the rest and basic nature or character! That's right quality is that element that sets apart those designer shoes from the Pay-less Shoes or that Dior , Channel or Versace outfit from those so called designer labels at discount stores. We ladies know our clothes.. know that the quality of the fabric makes them last longer, the way it is sewn strengthens those seams and the cut of the cloth often gives us that extra fabulous look. It is that degree of excellence that something or someone possesses! When we put on the true designer clothes, we know we look our best, they are designed to fit us in a way that shows off our bodies and accentuates our best features to perfection. We gain confidence when we are dressed in clothing that makes a statement.A potential sugar can talk and paint a lovely picture, anyone can talk but this does not mean that their words even have an element of truth in them. On the flip side anyone if they can afford it can put on the designer garments but at the end of the day this does not make their basic nature one that is of excellence as the garments can not make up for lack of character! Quality is the complete package! The definition also refers to a social standing.. and yes there is where a real SD can afford an arrangement, however, that still does not mean he retains the quality of character and where we need to really examine what qualities a potential has that would make him or her desirable in an arrangement. This also means a critical hard look at ourselves and our own character and what sets us aside from the rest and use those characteristic elements to our advantage. If it is a more traditional sugar arrangement that one wants then we need to examine what is important to us when it comes to quality character traits. A successful arrangement for me in the past has involved opening myself up to a SD, being honest and at times vulnerable and trust that he appreciated me enough to do the same. For awhile I had a few bad experiences in my search as I forgot what is important to me.. and yes having financial help is important but what was more important was that the person I chose to develop a SD/SB relationship with me be someone I can trust and learn from. Chemistry is important but what good is chemistry if there are so many character deficits that create drama. On the flip side I know that many Sugar Daddies feel the same way and often find after a short period of time the SB is not who she presented her self to be. It is a two way street and really an arrangement is all about appreciation! He appreciates me, who I am, what I do for him so he wants to help me and visa versa.. I appreciate my SD so I do things to show him how much I appreciate him.. both in and out of the bedroom. We often get caught up in perceived drama as we initially forget to cover things when we make an arrangement that covers how much contact. Some SD's want occasional contact in between meets and others want a lot ..phone call, text or email.. they want to feel a connection to their sugar. As an SB I learned to put those little details on the table in advance to make sure we are on the same page with how often meeting, how much contact, how much discretion is necessary.. if this is solely a behind closed doors arrangement or one that requires traveling, doing social things. Most important is sharing a piece of ourselves.. showing our character and having respect for our SD.. not belittling him because he is older. After all we are the ones looking.. for a sugar relationship not for an ever after scenario.
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