The Screening Process: Final Thoughts

If you have doubts trust your gut!! Never be afraid to ask questions and I have had an additional question that I have had to ask when negotiating an arrangement.  Now I make sure I know my Pot's kinks!!

Oh yes I do ask... I want to know how he envisions the sexuality of his sugar mate.. what kinks he has and what he expects to explore behind closed doors.  I have quickly discovered that you can have chemistry and click with someone but some kinks may be something that I am not comfortable with.  I recently turned down an offer of arrangement as I was not comfortable that he had two other sugars and often takes all sugars on trips together and expects the girls to all interact with each on a sexual level and according to his instructions and fantasies.  I had not met these women.. no idea what they look like.. who they are.. and did not feel that this arrangement was mutually beneficial for me when I am giving away my right to choose who I am with.

Know your Pot's expectations.. are they realistic, do they fit your own.  If this arrangement is one where you need to move you need to know from the beginning how much additional support you will receive for moving such as apartment allowance, moving allowance etc. and never do anything without getting the money first.. any one can say you will be reimbursed but not everyone means what they say.

With Craigs List removing their adult service section, I have noticed I am getting more hits on my profile that I have online.  I have noticed an increase at how many of the contacts I receive do not really have an understanding of life in the sugar bowl and are basically just looking to meet get laid and move on.  This is why it is so important to screen and be patient.  Often if our finances are tight it makes it even harder to be selective but the wait is worth it.

Recently I was excited about meeting a new Pot... I asked all the right questions.. talked on the phone numerous times before the meet and even skyped a few times and their was no mistaking the connection. We met at a restaurant overlooking a lake.. he was the perfect gentlemen.. had all the right answers.. dressed well.. drove a car that reflected his wealth.  So you are thinking WOW she finally found the SD she is looking for and is back off the market, right?  Wrong.  Leased Car.. and quickly learned when the bill came for dinner and the best wine money can buy.. that three times he would give the waiter a credit card.. three different ones and they were all declined and here I sit thinking not again.. I already did the dutch thing..felt I did not want to make a scene again so pulled out my debit card and took a big hit in my bank balance to the tune of close to 600 bucks.. yep that is right.. omg.. this is what I did not need.  When we left the restaurant I suggested he sit in my car a few minutes to talk and I asked him how he felt he could afford an arrangement when it is obvious his credit cards are maxed out.. He claimed this often happens as he is so busy he often forgets to send in the checks.. yeah right.. he also told me he would pay me back and then even had the audacity to ask me if I could loan him a few bucks.  We are taught to look for clues like the Rolex on his wrist.. some knockoffs today are hard to spot.. and his was real so I suggested he pawn it and foot his own bills.. I know that sounds harsh but an arrangement needs to be built on trust to reach a certain level of hotness.  It needs a certain level of passion and mutual chemistry.. chemistry often falls apart where deceit enters in.

When he got out of the car I knew this was another one of those experiences that I was going to learn from.. what I learned is no matter how carefully we screen we are still going to meet our share of duds but in the process I was letting my true personality show.. the nice person who has compassion for people, giving too much away about myself too soon.  So I have a meet scheduled for an hour from now with another Pot... will this one be any different as I have shared quite a bit with him.. this is a second meet and the first setting had potential enough for me to agree to a second meeting.  He is older, much older than I would have considered in his late 60's but hot for his age.  He also did something that I have not run across before.. suggesting that the second meeting be open ended so I do not plan to leave right after dinner.  So drinks and dancing are included and we shall see from there.  He wants to talk arrangement over dinner tonight and get down to my bottom line on what I need.. expectations.. and asked me to make a mental list of what I feel would be the ideal arrangement for the two of us.  In the past Pot's have often been concerned with their viewpoint their needs and this is what made me aware that I was not finding quality that I sought after.. like who took the mutual out of mutually beneficial arrangement.  The search can be fun, the meets can be exciting but if you do not do your homework and pay attention to those little signs and clues that tell you what kind of person your Pot really is.. then you will find much drama in the search along with aggravation.  Now I am actively searching profiles myself instead of just responding to those who are contacting me.  I am also being more selective and no longer restricting myself to only my area.