The screening process is essential to avoid pit falls but I do not think there is anything that is fool proof. As I have recently taken my profile out of its hidden status on a site that caters to sugar arrangements, I updated my photos but did not change my profile. Instead I changed the way I approach the initial emails and looking for clues hidden in picture and words.
My questions are now more focused and a few of them are actually designed to catch if someone is lying to me.. for example I recently asked one Pot what type of foods he likes and some of his favorite restaurants in Chicago. Of course he typed out three of the most exclusive restaurants that Chicago has to offer.. and all this can be discovered by a simple Google search. When we talked on the phone I mentioned one of restaurants he listed and asked his favorite dish and he told me something that is not on their menu..lol.. I told him I was fond of the female maitre d' there.. and he agreed with me she is the sweetest.. no females in that position at this particular place. So what I learned was that he would easily lie and I wasted no more time.
Initially I ask:
What motivated you to seek a sugar arrangement?
Have you had previous sugar arrangements in the past?
Why have you contacted me? ( ask this when the Pot ask me questions that have already been answered in my profile as this is a sign he did not read the profile)
What are your expectations in seeking a sugar arrangement?
If the Pot has stated he has been in previous arrangements I also ask how long they lasted? I listen for statements like just a few meetings or weeks or couple months that opens the door to ask what type of arrangement they had. Often I have discovered these will be P4P which I am not interested in.
If I am interested at this point in the correspondence I will ask a second set of questions. These are specifically designed to learn more detail in what the Pot is searching for and give me the opportunity to discover if he is looking for a sex only closed door arrangement, or seeking companionship along with the sugar that is based on building trust and mutual chemistry.
I always ask at this stage if he is searching for an arrangement based on an allowance. Not all SD's are and often they do not state what allowance they are willing to provide. Again I like this clarified before the meet to avoid running into any more P4P situations.
If the first meet requires me to travel away from my home area which means both finances and time invested I am now more cautious to accept unless it is clarified in advance that I will be reimbursed. More often I will just refuse, if a Pot is interested in me and has some distance from my area.. my point is he is seeking me out an initially a gentlemen usually would if he could make sure the SB feels secure and comfortable.
What questions do you first ask? I will list my final questions which I am quickly discovering are helping me to screen out the wannabees and fakes quite fast in Part 3.
I recently requested to Skype with one Pot which I quickly discovered that the pictures he sent me were not him. He did not even realize he was busted until I finally brought it up to give him a chance to explain. Being caught off guard he told me he had not done this before, lied about not being in a relationship, and could barely afford to take a girl out to dinner. He was just trying to get some hot pictures of girls. Sometimes we need to be creative to discover the truth if our guts tells us something is amiss.
If you are really bent on going out of state to meet an SD, have them pay your round trip air fair and hotel in advance and send you a copy of the itinerary. This way you know they are serious, and also that they can afford a few thousand $ to fly you in and accommodate. I think this shows some trust on their part as well. that's what I used to do in the few cases when I met ladies out of state.
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